Friend Dating

You know what's just as challenging to find as a man you want to have babies with? Finding a friend that will put up with you gushing about him.

Yep, I'm ISO of some NC friends. And that means awkward friend dates. On Wednesday night I met up with a cool woman I'd emailed with about work stuff. Unlike my romantic dating life, I actually got to be the one asking out, and I was super happy when she agreed. Yay, potential friend!

The time was fine, although at one point I was wondering when our food was going to show up. I felt like I carried a lot of the conversation, asking questions and filling in what I perceived to be awkward silences. (I blame that on being extraordinarily extroverted.) And, I ate all of the food on my plate, not because I wanted it but because it was something to do.

I'm probably making this sound a lot more painful than it was. We had a good time and we have a lot in common. I think there will be future friend dates. But, after only two "dates," we don't really know each other. And no matter how much I want to have a close friend here in NC, she and I weren't going to go back to her place and watch YouTube videos together like Katie and I used to do.

Sigh. Living in a new place is tough. It's difficult for me to remember what it felt like when I moved to DC. I'm sure I felt similarly. But, when I think about DC, what I remember are the friends I had at the end of my time there, not the loneliness I felt at the beginning.

Just like back when I was single my brain used to say over and over, "You're never going to meet a man. You're never going to get married," my brain is now telling me, "You're never going to have friends in NC." Not really helpful to have bullshit like that swirling around in my head. So, I've got to keep putting myself out there, going out on friend dates, and believe that somewhere out there will be a friend that'll I really click with.

4 comments:

  1. Being that I'm rather friendless at the moment, I feel your pain. And at least you have moving as an excuse.

    Have you tried finding bloggers in the area? I'm finding that going to blogger get togethers has been a really good way to meet new people and make new friends.

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  2. Have you ever tried meeting new people by joining groups on meetup.com before? I've used it before when moving to a new area and it helped me meet cool women who've since become my very good friends. The events planned usually involve several people so there's no pressure to force a friendship that doesn't click naturally. Finding new friends is like dating but it's very important... as amazing as Carolina Man might be, you still need your girlfriends. Good Luck!

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  3. You are so right, Molly. Friends are super important! I have signed up for some MeetUp groups but haven't taken the plunge to go to one yet.

    Krysten, girl, you are in my thoughts all the time. Move here and we can be friends!

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  4. Maybe find other bloggers in the area, as Krysten suggested? Meetup is also good, as Molly recommended. Have you considered hunting out some knitting groups? They're usually willing to teach newbies.

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