I'm probably the last person on earth to have a surprise party. Why? Because I suck at being surprised. I'm suspicious and snoopy, qualities I inherited from my mother. As a kid, I took my annual sneak peek tour of my Christmas gifts in my mom's messy closet, and of course denied it every single time. I perfected my pretend look of surprise when I'd open a gift that I knew I was getting.
As much as I think surprises in the abstract are fun, I really don't like them all that much when I know one is coming. It's impossible for me to say, "Oh, a surprise! How fun. I guess I'll wait around and see what it is." My desire to figure it out ahead of time turns into a psychosis.
One Christmas I suspected my mom had gotten me a puppy (she had), and everyone in my family was in on it, except for me. I hated that feeling of being left out, even though a totally awesome thing was waiting on the other side. It's probably in part a function of being the youngest and only girl, but I hate feeling left out of whatever is going on, even if it's for me.
Weird, huh? I can manage to complain about having someone plan me something awesome. I'm such a jerk sometimes.
Needless to say, this time of the year is the WORST for someone with my snooping tendencies because now that I'm no longer five-years-old, it seems completely unacceptable to snoop around the house, looking for gifts. It doesn't mean I don't want to; it's just that now I feel totally ashamed of myself and the guilt keeps me from doing so...most of the time.
Not only do I have Christmas gifts just sitting there under the tree, taunting me, but I also have a late January surprise weekend that Carolina Man is planning. He told me about it at the end of November, and now I'm driving both him and me batty with questions about it. Sometimes he just says, "If you really want to know, I'll tell you," to which I respond with a whiny, "Noooooo! I want it to be a surprise."
Seriously, you can't please this girl.
I'll just have to suck it up, wait a few more days (or weeks), and realize that the wait will be worth it.