A note to the fellow newly engaged and to-be-engaged folks

I had no idea how crazy people get over weddings. Wells, that's not quite true. I have been known to watch a marathon of Bridezillas, so I did get a sense of how some people get crazy over weddings.
What I did not know was how crazy the people in my own life would get over our wedding. One that Carolina Man and I haven't even begun planning because, oh yeah, we haven't even been engaged for two weeks yet. I'm still completely distracted by my ring. No one in that state of mind could be making decisions about a wedding. 

I guess I thought when I told people I got engaged that they'd A) want to see the ring and B) want to hear the proposal story. WRONG. Instead they want A and then skip a few steps to ask when I'm getting married. Literally hours after we were engaged, people wanted to know the date we were going to tie the knot.

I suppose it's a logical question to ask, but it's one that started to get old really, really fast. I've adjusted my responses over time. At first I'd smile and say, "I don't know!" And then after I got asked it about a hundred times, I tried to play the guilt card, "Everyone keeps asking me that, and we just got engaged." Kind of snippy, kind of downer way to respond. Plus, it didn't do any good. The next person would just ask me the same question. And now I just accept their curiosity and say, "Probably sometime next year." Vague, noncommittal, but satisfactory enough that they move on.

Did I mention that my boss is already asking if she can wear a silver dress to the wedding?

What I'm learning is that a lot of people want to live vicariously through my experience, and that means they've got a lot of opinions they want to share with me. What I have to remember is they mean well, but I don't have to take it all to heart.

I just hope that their curiosity doesn't wane too much because when we do actually begin planning, I'm sure I'll be looking for some eager ears to entertain my ideas.

Anyone else experience this kind of interrogation about wedding dates? How did you deal with it?




8 comments:

  1. Yeah... be prepared for drama. Weddings can sometimes bring out the worst in people. I already told Boyfriend is/when he pops the question I may suggest eloping.

    We'll see. Just take everything with a grain of salt and do things YOUR way.

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  2. I understand how you feel. I just got engaged last year novemember and as soon as it happpened everyone one kept on asking what the date was, what kind of dress am I wearing, real flowers or fake flowers? I'm like SLOW DOWN people and I don't know the answers to any of your questions. Now that i'm into this wedding planning process I get people telling me its your day its whatever you want, once I say what I want their response is No you can't do that. I'm like then why did u tell me that.
    Don't worry the standard answer I give now is I haven't thought about it and i'll get back to you. It works like a charm they leave you alone.
    Good luck girl.By the way I've been reading your blog for awhile and I'm happy for you!!

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  3. I've never been engaged, but I've witnessed this matrimania a few times. When a coworker got engaged, there literally was a parade of people in and out of our office ALL day asking those very questions. It can get old for the innocent bystanders too. :)

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  4. Yes, absolutely. Within minutes of announcing our engagement people asked when we were getting married. It made me laugh. How were we to know! :)

    I cannot recommend the book "Emotionally Engaged" enough! Weird things started to happen between myself and friends and family after I got engaged and this book has really helped me cope with all the changes.

    Good luck with everything!

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  5. The number one best wedding website out there for sane people is A Practical Wedding (apracticalwedding.com). I send it to everyone I know who gets engaged. It's the only wedding website I still read and I got married 2 years ago.

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  6. I've been engaged for a year, and only just started thinking about venues and dates.

    I'm pretty much the anti-bride - have never given a thought to what I want out of a wedding, and I saw engagement not as the impetus to rush out and start planning, but a commitment to eventually tie the knot. Seems I'm the only female I know of this opinion! Most others were kind of like, why bother getting engaged?! (My guy friends understood, bless them). We've been together six years plus now, but we're still only 23 - pretty young in the grand scheme of things.

    A Practical Wedding is a great blog for brides who don't want to buy into all the crap, FYI :)

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  7. A Practical Wedding - the best relationship blog. And provides some wedding insight!

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  8. First, a big congrats on the engagement. I feel like I have been following your journey for a good amount of time (years?) and I love that you have found happiness!

    I have always said that weddings bring out the best and the worst in people. It can be a trying experience, but also a really beautiful one.

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