Hey (mean) Girl.



I can't remember the last time I was in a situation with a bunch of mean girls. So when I found myself at a bachelorette party for my best friend with a clique of four bitchy ladies, I didn't know what to think about it.

First of all, cliques and bachelorette parties don't exactly go together. The reason you're all there in the first place is to celebrate the bride-to-be, even if you're not all best buddies. Putting the focus on her having a good time should be enough to pull the group together. But when there's a mean girl or two in the mix, it's hard to be unified.

Actual things that happened over the course of the weekend:

  • Clique decides to leave for the beach an hour after the rest of us do. Then they decide to leave early and make several pit stops on the way back to the hotel, excluding the bride among others.
  • After going out dancing, clique decides to go on a rickshaw tour around the city--without the bride.
  • Sunday morning, clique decides to have breakfast in the hotel--without asking the bride who was in the adjoining room if she wanted to join.
The worst part was that they paid lip service to the idea of all of us being together, but then went out of their way to minimize that time as a group. And it hurt my friend's feelings when the whole weekend was supposed to be about her. While they aren't my friends and I don't really value  what they think about me, I felt disrespected as the planner of the weekend.  Later I was annoyed to hear that the Queen Bee of the group was talking shit about me behind my back. I have no way of knowing if it's true, but it's disturbing.

SaraKay Smullens talks about dealing with mean girls in the grown-up sphere:
So what to do if, in your life, you come face to face with this "Mean Adult" syndrome? Most importantly, know that confident, secure people do not act in a thoughtless and exclusionary way. Further, friends who witness it will immediately intervene if they see it happening. This of course means that "friends" who stand by allowing this need to be crossed off of the friends list, sooner rather than later.
I'm grateful for this weekend in a way because it made me realize that I'm a thoughtful friend and I don't have anyone in my life whom I would classify as mean. Sadly my friend is having to reevaluate her relationships with these women, but better to do so now rather than later.

Photo: Filler Magazine

4 comments:

  1. And this is why I don't have many female friends. I'm sorry but women are bitches. I include myself in this statement because I know I can be a bitch at times.

    Just today one of my coworkers was acting snide towards another coworkers. She kept glaring at her and purposely not seating tables in her section. I like both girls so I tried to stay out of the middle, but the one who was getting all the glares asked if the other didn't like her.

    Oddly, it's the first time I've worked with the two of them together but the whole situation was lame. Why do you need to act like that? It's fine if you don't like someone but if you have to be around them for whatever reason, suck it up and be an adult about it.

    Sounds like this clique just isn't mature enough to handle adult situations. Too bad for them, you kind of end up alienating yourself when you do things like that.

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    1. My female friends who are happy with themselves don't act this way. It's got to be about insecurity and unhappiness. I'm just not used to being around that, thank God!

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  2. I used to have mostly male friends for this reason - a couple tried & true girlfriends from childhood but to me, dudes just seemed more logical and I LIKED that. Now I'm getting closer to some really nice girls. You're right, the ones who are happy with themselves treat others with care. I can't believe they excluded the bride!!

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  3. Dude. Seriously. Those kinds of people aren't even worth your time to think about them. Not even a little bit.

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