The "Ick"-th Sense

I am a closeted People magazine subscriber. It's not something I'm proud of. But when you're a frequent traveler like me trying to figure out how to kill the time between the nonsensical command to discontinue use of all portable electronic devices and that sweet, sweet tone notification that you've hit your cruising altitude and can whip out the Kindle, an issue of People magazine is the perfect solution. It's light-weight, full of pictures, and requires the attention-span of a squirmy four-year-old to finish. Granted it did spoil all of Downton Abbey endings for me, but the issues keep a'comin' and I keep a'readin'.

Since I'm taking a much-needed breather from work travel this month, I decided to take along the latest issue with me on my morning walk with Lucy. Imagine my horror when I stumbled upon this disaster.

This, my friends, is a scratch 'n' sniff card to accompany the premiere of the next season of what must be the biggest tragedy of television history, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Seriously, a Watch 'N' Sniff? Admittedly I do watch the occasional* TLC show, but this one is too gross for me to watch, even without breathing in various forms of stench as I do.

I cannot imagine anything more ridiculously disgusting than smelling a show like this. Can you even begin to guess how much money was spent on creating the scents to accompany these stupid scratch 'n' sniff cards that smell like bodily functions?

America, we are a disgusting bunch. That being said, if anyone would like one of these cards, let me know and I'll mail it to you. As a connoisseur of pretty awful reality TV shows myself, I have no place to judge.

*Ahem, frequent. Sister Wives! Breaking Amish! Four Weddings!