Well, I made it the three blocks to my new place with all my stuff...except for the couch. Oh my God, this fucking couch. SCL and I tried every which way to get it up the fucking stairs, but it just wouldn't make the narrow turn into my room. I also thought I was going to die about three times as we were trying to get the damn thing to budge and it felt like the whole thing was going to come crashing down on my head. I kept thinking of the Friends episode when Ross yells "Pivot! Pivot!" over and over again.
When I realized it wasn't going to go up in my room, I started bawling like a crazy person. This damn couch had been the symbol of my new grown-up life. I was so excited to finally purchase a piece of real furniture from a store. It made me feel like I was finally past that stage of life when I just accept hand-me-downs and mismatched pieces. Now here I am again, sharing a house and fridge with roommates with mostly borrowed furniture. Oh yeah, and my toilet broke the second day I was here, and I'm not sure when it's going to get fixed.
As we angrily took the fucking couch back to our old apartment, I got more and more irrationally pissed off at SCL. He was the reason I had to move the damn thing in the first place. If he could have just stuck to the plan, we would never have been in this spot in the first place! It's amazing how easy it is to blame him for everything.
He pretty much called me out on my bullshit. He said, "Life doesn't always go the way we want it to, and you are forgetting about all of the good stuff going on in your life." True. I didn't want to admit it but he was right about that. It's just so easy in this situation to blame him for things not going the way I wanted. And I pull out that martyr card in a split second anytime I start feeling sad about how things turned out.
I just have to get over it. Like it or not, this is my life now, so I need to start getting used to it if I don't want to stay in a place of "poor me" forever. Time to just start making a new path and enjoying the many, many good things in my life.
First off, THANK YOU for quoting that Friends episode. It's one of my favorites!
ReplyDeleteSecond, I do the same thing. I minute something bad happens I blame everything and everyone. So dumb but sometimes the frustration just builds, ya know?
Sorry about the couch not working out though, that is such a bummer!
I LOVE that episode!! "but we had a sketch"!! ahahah so funny. I totally know the feeling of the pride you have in your 1st solo purchase! My couch was tough to get in to the apt too But I recruited 3 men and got it done!
ReplyDeleteOh my god, I could have written this entry. From the couch debacle (my couch required the removal of its feet, two doors off their hinges and two light fixtures, and then we literally had to kick it into the living room -- I keep joking that I'm just going to die in this apartment because that fucking thing is not leaving here ever) to the irrational pissed-off-ness.
ReplyDeleteExcept for that my tale ends with me telling him it's never going to work ever. I hope for your sake you get the happy ending you deserve.
ugh so annoying about the couch, but reminding me about Ross in the friends episode made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteOh, I could totally feel every single emotion you displayed in this post. It sucks when things don't work out the way you want them to, especially when you have to leave sentimental items.
ReplyDeleteI really hope someone buys it. I would hate to throw it out! :-( Honestly, and don't mention this to SCL, it would've been really crowded in the room, but I STILL wish I had it anyway. I miss its comfort and prettiness.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of that has to do with the overall frustration that enters the picture on moving day. The whole thing just sucks. But I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it (I totally remember that Friends episode!) and that you can focus now on the positives. Besides, sometimes moving into a different place helps us gain a fresh, new perspective. Best of luck with the rest of your move!
ReplyDeleteCharlotte, at least I have a sense of humor AFTER the fact. In the middle of it I was bawling. I tend to look back on my actions and think, "Wow, I was a dumbass." In fact I can even know this as I'm going through it, but it doesn't prevent the break down in the midst of it all. But, things are calming down. This weekend, though, will be the big clean up of the old place. Fun fun!
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