In very weird form, Andrew Cohen, legal analyst for Politics Daily, decided to write an open letter of sorts to his ex-girlfriend...on her wedding day. That's right, on her WEDDING DAY! If you think you can stomach this saccharine and inappropriate display of regret, you can read the whole article entitled "On Her Wedding Day, Saying the Things Left Unsaid" if you'd like. Or I can sum up for you what I think about it.
Basically, it's a passive-aggressive note of regret, articulating all of the ways that he loved this woman, and then "wishing her the best" in her decision to marry someone else. Now if he really meant all of this, wouldn't he have written her a private note rather than post his feelings online? It seems like it's more about him than about her.
But, the question still remains for me: why does it sometimes take something monumentally life-changing, like a death or a marriage, to say the things that should've been said a long time ago?
The book I'm reading is focused primarily on living in the present moment, having a clear awareness of what we feel and holding whatever it is we are feeling with an open, kind, and warm heart. For me, this is seriously complex because at any given time I feel like I am feeling layer upon layer of feelings, thoughts upon thoughts, and various judgments and criticisms. It can be tricky to hold all of that at once and clearly get a sense of what is going on inside. I can tell this is going to take some practice.
But shifting from living in the present--rather than reliving the past or leaning into the future--necessitates an authenticity that I think I lack a lot of the time. It's really easy for me, like Cohen, to reflect on the past and see it as much simpler and more beautiful. In his proclamation of love, what I hear is "These were the best times in my life, and now they are coming to an end." How sad to be stuck in love.
I hope I never find myself in a situation like this--SCL marrying another woman, and me left feeling like he didn't know much I cared about it. And even worse, not being able to let go of the past and live in the present. In the meantime, I want him to know how much I appreciate him--how he fixed my bike yesterday, how he is patient with my ranting and getting upset, and how he is working to uncover what's going on in his own heart and mind.
And I will spare you all my declaration of love.