Things Purchased This Week

• Puppy collar and leash (pink, of course)
• Puppy food bowls (heart-shaped with "Princess" written at the bottom)
• Puppy all-natural food
• Puppy natural treats
• Puppy training treats
• Puppy stuffed pig
• Puppy Kong toy
• Puppy Greenies
• Puppy Hide-a-Squirrel
• Puppy food holder
• Puppy shampoo
• Puppy brush
• Puppy flea comb
• Puppy rounded grooming scissors

This pup is taking over our life. And our finances. 

We Love Lucy

Meet the newest member of our family, Lucy the Shih Tzu! We are very proud parents.

The Sass is Back

I'm a Southern woman, born and raised. This surprises a lot of people I meet primarily because A) I don't have the accent and B) I like to say fuck a lot. This wasn't always the case. Back in high school, I was a Bible Belter, goody two-shoes like most of my friends.

That all started to change ironically when I went to divinity school in Connecticut. People were abrasive and direct, which at first I found rude but then came to appreciate. There was no bullshit. Sure, I missed the friendliness of saying 'hi' to people on the street, but then again, there were so many pedestrians I could've spent my entire walk to campus greeting strangers. Instead I learned to look inward and found quiet and stillness.

I also developed quite a bit of attitude. Since my birth, my mom had taught me the passive aggressive ways of southern culture--that you ignore cat calls and kill rude people with kindness. As it turns out, these are not particularly satisfying strategies for dealing with assholes. I always felt disempowered and wished I'd been quicker with my tongue.

At some point, things shifted. I started with a few mouthy comebacks to men who would whistle or say something inappropriate to me on the street. One night I was coming home from CVS when a man in a truck said, "Hey there, sexy." I walked a few steps and yelled back, "Why don't you shut the fuck up!?" He probably thought I was a crazy bitch, but I felt this awesome rush of adrenaline and felt proud that I'd managed to make him, well, shut the fuck up.

Now after six years of living elsewhere, I'm back in the South and experiencing severe reverse culture shock. It first struck me when I went to a Zumba class at the gym and realized I was the most gyrating one in the class (something that NEVER would have happened in DC). I've changed and I'm not sure I can adopt the southern lady thing again.

The other day, Carolina Man and I were out playing bocce and throwing a frisbee at the park. A man walked by us, and remembering that I was in the South, I made eye contact and said hello. He replied, "You know, you really should use your arm more and your wrist less."

And without even thinking, I retorted with annoyance in my voice, "Thanks, but I didn't ask you." It wasn't rude exactly, but it was direct and it sent a clear message that I didn't appreciate his unsolicited advice about my frisbee throwing ability.

My mom probably would've died with embarrassment if she'd heard me say that. She would have preferred I'd feigned politeness or even gratitude, and then talked behind his back. Instead I said what I felt. And it felt pretty awesome!

Carolina Man said, "And that's why I love you."

Meeting His Momma

Good thing I'm heading back to the airport today. It's been nearly two weeks since I've flown anywhere, and I was beginning to feel deprived.

But, this time it's not a work trip (yay). And, I won't be flying alone (double yay)! Carolina Man and I are heading to Alabama to spend the weekend with his mom and some of his other relatives. I haven't given the trip much thought. I've become entirely too lackadaisical about travel. If I let my usual type-A personality run amok when I was about to go somewhere, I'd never be able to accomplish anything else. For me, the thinking about a trip doesn't set in until I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to pack, which so far hasn't happened. I'm thinking I'll give myself an hour before we have to leave.

As much as Carolina Man has reassured me that his mom is thrilled to meet me, I can't help but feel somewhat anxious about it. You'll recall that I haven't exactly had the best of luck with significant others' mothers (especially when they are nosy, know-it-all bitches, not that I'm thinking of anyone in particular). And while I got along great with his dad and his brother, meeting the mom is always the scariest part about meeting someone's family.

So, I'm doing my best not to over-think it, to trust what CM has said--that his mom is laid back and easy to get along with. And I'll just do my best to be myself, flaws and all.

Carolina Man's Birthday Week Recap

Carolina Man celebrated a big birthday last week, and since it was also our first together, I decided to make his birthday extra special by making a game out of his gifts. I created my own version of Dirty Minds with each present having three dirty-sounding clues that would lead CM to his gift. Like, "Press me up against something thick and juicy" and "I love you to hold my rear end" for the tomato knife I'd gotten him. Most of the gifts were small things, but it was fun creating a game out of it. I gave him a gift a day during his birthday week, with a couple extra ones on his actual birthday.

It's amazing how having a thoughtful partner makes me want to be more thoughtful. Even more that that, knowing how appreciative he is of the effort I put into it makes me want to make every occasion that special.

There's a fine line there, though. Both CM and I tend to be others-focused. Most of the time that's a good thing. We consider what other people are feeling and experiencing. But for me, it can definitely go overboard, and it was nearing that with this birthday. I felt so much internal pressure to wow him, to make his birthday perfect that I ended up putting a financial strain on myself. I kept feeling like I could do more and more, never knowing when I'd done enough. I suppose there's still some insecurity there about this relationship being as good and solid as it feels, and so I feel the need to overcompensate.

The best part is I could tell CM all of this. We talked through it all, even going back into birthdays past and recalling the thoughtlessness of our former partners. And it created even more closeness to talk about those insecurities rather than to act as if they weren't there. I'm very grateful for that openness we share.

Happiest of Birthdays, Carolina Man!

Wishing my love the happiest of birthdays. You are my gift everyday! 

Ketchup and Kisses

Maybe cleaning out the fridge isn't the biggest or most accurate test of a healthy relationship, but I will say there's something to be said about pulling out umpteen bottles of salad dressing that expired in 2006 and laughing the whole time you're doing it.

I'm one of those people who ignores messes up until a certain point, but once my eyes have focused in on a particular shelf or space with a certain level of scrutiny, I can't help myself from dropping whatever I'm doing and attacking it, trash bag and paper towels in hand. For example, the other week I was getting something out of a cupboard in the kitchen when I noticed a dried glob of tomato sauce caked on there. I got out a cleaning cloth and went to town. For three hours.

The same kind of thing happened when I opened up the fridge. And then the freezer. And the pantry. CM and I started pitching stuff left and right. I can't get over how non-territorial he is with this stuff. I love that we're both anti-hoarding. There wasn't a single item that I wanted to throw out that he wanted to keep. By the end of it, all we had left were some caffeine-free Diet Cokes and some freezer pops, but that fridge looked good.

The thing is, we spend most of our lives throwing out the trash, cleaning up messes, doing the laundry. And it's fantastic that we not only the same approaches to these things, but that we find disgusting expired food products kind of hilarious. I never knew you could enjoy doing something that's kind of gross.

It's those moments of living life together that make me feel so good about my move here. It's giving us the chance to really get to know one another on a level we never would have if I'd stayed in DC. And I'm really grateful for the daily life experiences we're having together.