Reflections on Wedding Planning (Part Four): Other People's Weddings

Exactly three months after our wedding, MT and I got to celebrate the marriage of my brother and his new wife, and it was absolutely impossible not to compare the two. While we planned for 13 months, they planned it all in 6. We had 50 guests; they had double that. But probably the biggest difference was in their level of enjoyment, especially my brother. He was totally stressed and anxious the entire weekend with few exceptions! If I had to give him some advice, this is what I'd say.

How to have a low-stress wedding

1. Give yourself more time to plan if you can wait. That way you're making fewer big decisions at a time.
2. Hire a coordinator if you can afford to. If you aren't naturally organized, hire someone to be organized for you.
3.  Put time and energy into your wedding service. Don't wait until the week of the wedding to find out that it's stuffy and impersonal because by then it's too late to change it.
4. Communicate with people before the wedding weekend about when they need to be where. Finding out about family pictures through hearsay isn't the best way to get everyone together and organized.
5. Have an actual count of your guests so you're not surprised when you have more people than you have seats.
6. When it doesn't go according to plan, just take deep breaths and realize you're married and that was the whole point of having a wedding in the first place!


  1. How did you feel having only 50 guests at your wedding? Izzy and I have been talking about the leap and planning a wedding and we both agree we want it to be as small and intimate as possible because, basically, neither of us wants the headache or drama.

    My first wedding had a little over 100 guests, most of whom I didn't even know. I just don't want that again, it felt so impersonal, ya know?

    Oh and P.S. I totally agree with all these points.

    1. Krysten, I really liked having a small wedding. It helps that we both have small families. But it forced us to invite only our "top tier" friends, which made putting our list together a bit easier honestly. It also meant we could speak to each and every guest and spend a lot of time enjoying the dance floor. It also was less expensive! So, I think it's the way to go if it feels right for you both.

  2. How did they not have enough seats? OMG. That really sounds stressful.