Why there should be an E-Harmony for friends

Nothing made me feel more at ease about moving to a new city than knowing I got to take a friend (aka SCL) along for the ride. I knew I'd have someone there with me to go through the same bouts of crappy days and awesome ones. That really is a gift. I know there are people yearning for that kind of companionship, love, and stability and do all kinds of things in the hopes of finding even just a little of what I've got (remember the shopping bags?). I am a lucky woman indeed.

Before moving, SCL and I had a common group of friends because of grad school, but now that we're in a new city--and need I remind you that he's in grad school and I'm in the non-profit world--it's hard to make friends as a couple. First, my wonky friends at work are just that--my wonky friends. Love 'em, but they're mine and we tend to do women-only events. Second, SCL doesn't have that much time to spend with his classmates, and despite being in the same program, they don't necessarily have a lot in common outside of academia. Third, it is highly unlikely that these two groups of people would ever come in contact with one another, and well, I don't think we'd even want them to.

So, how does one go about making couple friends? I feel like I'm too desperate and will scare off anyone remotely friendly who seems like they'd be fun to hang out with. We did have success a few weeks ago at a gala for a domestic violence organization when we were seated next to a young couple who had just moved from Boston. He works for the FBI; she's a human rights attorney. They seemed fab, and we're having dinner next Sunday. I'm excited, but I can't help but also feel nervous--like we're going out on a friend date. What if they don't like us? What if we don't click? What if they don't want to go out on a second friend date? We'll never find real friends. *Wah*

One thing SCL and I have discussed is how to expand our social activities to ones that we can do as a couple. We both love ballroom dancing. We both went to Yale. There you go--those two things are probably enough to find us a whole slew of friends. But it's still hard. I'm tired of walking into a room and only knowing a person or two, having the same "where are you from? what do you do?" conversations. It's exhausting--and I'm the extrovert of the pair! But I guess just like before the move, I will be bringing a buddy, someone to stand awkwardly with, someone to latch onto, someone to share laughable, horrible, or laughably horrible stories with afterward.

We just have to go for it. Anyone want to go out on a friend date?


  1. Why does it have to be another couple? I think most people are looking for new friends, and single folks might be the most eager. When I was younger (granted, this was high school), I actually made a great third wheel to most of my best friend's relationships. Sometimes a third can add just what's needed. (um... don't read that the wrong way!)

    A recent post of yours echoed the title of HIMYM. Do you watch? Did you see the episode of Marshall and Lily searching for their one true couple love? This post reminded me of that.

  2. Oh and btw's... I've found that is actually kind of like an eHarmony for friends. Find something you're interested in, and meet other people who are, too! I've had pretty positive experiences so far.

  3. Thanks, GG! We're not set on just having couple friends, but it would be nice!