SCL picked me up at the airport and made me one of his delicious pizzas for dinner. Part of me really hoped he'd stay over with me (since the break-up, I think we've slept in the same bed twice), but he doesn't even have a toothbrush here anymore. His stuff is completely cleared out of our apartment. It's finally beginning to hit me that he's not living here anymore. And in a few weeks neither will I.
Yesterday we went on a short bike ride and then he, after I asked, took me over to his new place. It's pretty nice--he's got the small basement of the house to himself. He still has a little bit of unpacking to do, but it's definitely where he lives now. Without me. I could tell that he was comfortable there--he has a place to work and a place to play his piano. (He even played for me, which he never does for anyone!) It's quiet and big enough for him to have his own space. It's exactly what he wanted.
So much will change with this move--our morning coffee ritual, brushing our teeth together, sharing the little things that happen during the day. The separation is hurtful, especially because I still don't know what it is we're doing. I still want some clarity about the relationship. Are we "together"? Are we boyfriend/girlfriend? I still think of him that way, but I don't know what he thinks. When I ask him about it, he says he doesn't know. I know that labels don't define a relationship, but I want to know what we're doing.
He mentioned casually that his whole family is getting together next weekend. In the past I would've always been invited, but I didn't even ask about it. I'm not sure even what his parents know or think. Why does this bother me so much? I know it's about what's going on between the two of us, but I feel weird thinking this is some kind of secret for him. I never thought I'd have to define a relationship again, especially not the one I have with SCL.