Well, I made it the three blocks to my new place with all my stuff...except for the couch. Oh my God, this fucking couch. SCL and I tried every which way to get it up the fucking stairs, but it just wouldn't make the narrow turn into my room. I also thought I was going to die about three times as we were trying to get the damn thing to budge and it felt like the whole thing was going to come crashing down on my head. I kept thinking of the Friends episode when Ross yells "Pivot! Pivot!" over and over again.
When I realized it wasn't going to go up in my room, I started bawling like a crazy person. This damn couch had been the symbol of my new grown-up life. I was so excited to finally purchase a piece of real furniture from a store. It made me feel like I was finally past that stage of life when I just accept hand-me-downs and mismatched pieces. Now here I am again, sharing a house and fridge with roommates with mostly borrowed furniture. Oh yeah, and my toilet broke the second day I was here, and I'm not sure when it's going to get fixed.
As we angrily took the fucking couch back to our old apartment, I got more and more irrationally pissed off at SCL. He was the reason I had to move the damn thing in the first place. If he could have just stuck to the plan, we would never have been in this spot in the first place! It's amazing how easy it is to blame him for everything.
He pretty much called me out on my bullshit. He said, "Life doesn't always go the way we want it to, and you are forgetting about all of the good stuff going on in your life." True. I didn't want to admit it but he was right about that. It's just so easy in this situation to blame him for things not going the way I wanted. And I pull out that martyr card in a split second anytime I start feeling sad about how things turned out.
I just have to get over it. Like it or not, this is my life now, so I need to start getting used to it if I don't want to stay in a place of "poor me" forever. Time to just start making a new path and enjoying the many, many good things in my life.