This break-up has been great for my waistline. Like a lot of women in relationships, I started packing on the pounds when SCL and I got together. The eating out, making lots of pizza, and our collective sweet teeth really did a number on my body. It didn't help that he hated working out and didn't really like exercising with me. Like a lot of other things, I let my health slide. But now that I'm in need of every pick-me-up I can get, including endorphins, I find myself in the gym everyday and really enjoying it for the most part. My real focus is no to lose weight (though that's a nice side effect), but because it feels so damn good. I'd forgotten. And I've lost about five pounds in the process. Not too shabby.
I'm doing the things that feel like me. In addition to eating better and working out, I'm reading a lot of fun books (never read Bridget Jones's Diary before; I know!), spending more time having drinks with friends, going back to church, and generally being my normal social self. I'd let myself get confined to the routine of hanging out with SCL in the evenings and on the weekends. Now I have all of this time, and many more things I want to do with it.
I'm reconnecting with my spiritual side. Although SCL and I met in divinity school, he's not a religious person, and he wasn't too enthusiastic about going to church. But I am a deeply spiritual person and view the world through a theological lens most of the time. I'd been missing that part of me, especially living in DC where I am constantly having to adapt to speaking politics instead of religion. Now that I'm going to church and getting to know people there, I feel more at home and more like myself. My prayer every morning: "Grace to get me through the day."
I'm having a good ass time. I thought that becoming more predictable was just part of growing up, but I realize that it was just that I'd become kind of a boring person. SCL and I had good times together, but excitement was not a big part of our relationship. We fell into a rut and ended up spending a lot of Friday nights eating homemade pizza, drinking wine, and watching a movie. Nothing wrong with that except that I need to go out, dance, and see other human beings sometimes. Now there's nothing holding me back! I've been out with friends late at night, I've been trying new restaurants, biking to new places, catching up with old college friends, got signed up for kickball. I'm cutting down on the stuffy networking events and upping my fun intake for the time being. Time to live it up.
Here's the truth: While I'm sad about the loss of my relationship, I'm not unhappy. I thought I would be miserable for months and months, and instead I often feel liberated, alive, and more like myself. Maybe this will end up being the best thing for me.
Life/God/Universe, you are a funny, funny thing.