I never realized how much emotional baggage a vehicle could hold until we traded one in last weekend.
Growing up with a mother who avoided the most necessary of tasks in order to function in her anxiety-filled state of being, I have overcompensated to a fault. I'm the person who is likely to put that beloved t-shirt you haven't donned since last September in the discard pile and get it to the Goodwill before you can spot in missing in your bottom drawer. The second something pops up that causes me an ounce of anxiety, I am on a mission to resolve it as quickly as possible, even if it means a trip to the dentist or the gynecologist or, worst of all, the DMV.
At the same time, I am an incredibly cautious when it comes to financial decisions that have long-term implications. Truth be told, I haven't been in that situation much in my adult life. I've had to sign leases for pricey apartments in Connecticut and DC, but that's about the extent of it. Thanks to the generosity of my aforementioned anxious mother, I've been driving the same clunker since college, which suits me just fine. It takes a lot of energy to enter a car dealership, don't you think?
What's funny is that we weren't even replacing my car. We were out to trader in MT's functioning, yet rapidly deteriorating Saturn Vue. Let me tell you, finding a part for a car from a manufacturer that no longer exists is about as easy as scouring Ebay for a pair of gently used silver size 10 Jimmy Choo pumps. Sure, they might be out there, but how much of your time and energy do you want to spend on your search?
While the Vue was running just fine, minus a few brake pad replacements here and there, it had some cosmetic things that were starting to become problematic. For instance, the passenger side door developed a leak between the window and the door, so that after a hard rainstorm, which is basically a daily afternoon occurrence in the summer, when MT made his first hard left turn, I'd end up with a bunch of stinky brown rain water dumped in my lap. So, we'd still get where we were going, but not in the most pleasant way imaginable.
Ultimately my desire to remain dry on the way to a restaurant on date night overrode my desire to put off a huge financial decision and we ended up at the dealership looking at a slightly used SUV that had features that pretty much made us start salivating, although we tried not to let on to the salesman that we were desperate. When he'd leave us alone for a minute to check on numbers, we'd squeal, "The Bluetooth is AWESOME! We can listen to Pandora while we drive. Omg, Santigold station!" "Don't you love the wooden finish on the inner console? It looks so classy! And there are FOUR cup holders in the front. We can have two drinks each!"
Of course, by the time you actually purchase the car and fill out the dozens of required forms, it's nearly impossible to even remember what the car you've bought even looks like. There were moments of serious impatience, mostly due to my not having eaten anything since breakfast other than the complimentary popcorn the dealership had for its customers. "I didn't even know we were buying a car today," I snapped at one point. Somehow we managed to push through the five hour purchase process and made our way home in our new ride, playing with all of the buttons and calling everyone we could via Bluetooth (obviously).
But, it did something deeper than I was expecting. Trading in theVue for a car that we both have equal ownership of was yet another step towards solidifying our new life together as a married couple, putting behind the cars and memories and decisions of the past and looking toward our future of road trips and kids in car seats and joint decision-making. I love our car because it adds to the narrative of us. It means new adventures and memories that we'll make together, singing to the Beatles and Maroon 5 and James Taylor the whole way. The keyless entry ain't so bad either.
Showing posts with label Finances. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Finances. Show all posts
A good luck sign?
I've had a savings account entitled "Our Special Day" since Carolina Man and I first became a couple. Presumption much? Or just excellent foresight? In either case, it's a great feeling that I already have a chunk of change stashed away before we even have a date set (although that's probably going to happen next week. Eeeee!)
At the end of the month, if I have any leftover cash, I throw it into the wedding fund. I went to deposit my balance from February, and realized that I now have $7777 in our wedding fund. Four sevens must be good luck, right?
Happy weekend, y'all!
At the end of the month, if I have any leftover cash, I throw it into the wedding fund. I went to deposit my balance from February, and realized that I now have $7777 in our wedding fund. Four sevens must be good luck, right?
Happy weekend, y'all!
Weddomg: First Thoughts on a Budget
I just discovered while trying to type wedding that if you misplace your right hand on the keyboard by one row of keys to the right that you instead type "weddomg," which I find totally appropriate on many levels. "Weddomg" is a perfect description about how everyone, including myself, goes somewhat, if not entirely, batshit crazy at the mention of a wedding. So, I'm thinking that at least some of my wedding-related posts will be labeled "Weddomg," particularly those that relate to my own craziness or the craziness of others. Today I'll talk about wedding budget craziness, even before we have spent a single penny.
Carolina Man and I are now in the very preliminary stages of wedding planning, i.e. we're going to look at a venue, we're putting together a draft guest list, and we're generally thinking of what time of year we're going to plan for. Oh yeah, and we're piecing together a wedding budget. If you want to make yourself insane in a matter of minutes, start looking at how much weddings cost on average. You'll probably shit yourself and/or start crying.
Even as a newbie, I can say that there's a whole lot to putting together a wedding budget, and there's a helluva lot of unknowns when you haven't begun looking into all of the vendors you'll need. But, we do know approximately how much our venue will be per person, how much the ceremony will be, and for the rest of it, I just googled average costs of wedding shit and put the numbers into a spreadsheet. The amount I saw before my eyes was somewhat shocking. A preliminary estimation of our wedding was about $25K. *gulp*
And then I wasn't so shocked. Weddings are expensive, yo. We knew that going into this. It's about what we'd said we wanted to spend from the beginning, and it's an amount that we can afford to pay out of pocket, if we are able to save as we anticipate (and as he and I both have been saving since we first began our relationship). Yes, it's an awful lot to spend on "one day," but let's be clear here. Celebrations of life and love are important. And I feel as long as we aren't going into debt, nor are we using all of our savings, then we can feel guilt-free in our spending on a day where we'll gather with loved ones to celebrate the new stage of our relationship.
But you got to prioritize. Here are some of the things we care about:
Yesterday I was still feeling nervous that our designated monthly savings wouldn't be enough to cover things. So, Carolina Man suggested we both commit to saving an extra $200 over what we said we would save each month. In a year, that gives us an extra $5K. And I don't think either of us will miss this as we both got raises this year.
I'm thankful for his calm attitude about all of this, and how on the same page we are about planning this event. And I feel good knowing that we're going to be able to afford the kind of wedding we both want.
Carolina Man and I are now in the very preliminary stages of wedding planning, i.e. we're going to look at a venue, we're putting together a draft guest list, and we're generally thinking of what time of year we're going to plan for. Oh yeah, and we're piecing together a wedding budget. If you want to make yourself insane in a matter of minutes, start looking at how much weddings cost on average. You'll probably shit yourself and/or start crying.
Even as a newbie, I can say that there's a whole lot to putting together a wedding budget, and there's a helluva lot of unknowns when you haven't begun looking into all of the vendors you'll need. But, we do know approximately how much our venue will be per person, how much the ceremony will be, and for the rest of it, I just googled average costs of wedding shit and put the numbers into a spreadsheet. The amount I saw before my eyes was somewhat shocking. A preliminary estimation of our wedding was about $25K. *gulp*
And then I wasn't so shocked. Weddings are expensive, yo. We knew that going into this. It's about what we'd said we wanted to spend from the beginning, and it's an amount that we can afford to pay out of pocket, if we are able to save as we anticipate (and as he and I both have been saving since we first began our relationship). Yes, it's an awful lot to spend on "one day," but let's be clear here. Celebrations of life and love are important. And I feel as long as we aren't going into debt, nor are we using all of our savings, then we can feel guilt-free in our spending on a day where we'll gather with loved ones to celebrate the new stage of our relationship.
But you got to prioritize. Here are some of the things we care about:
- Beautiful, convenient location
- Meaningful, personal ceremony
- Looking good
- Delicious food
- Ease of use (i.e. having an all-inclusive package)
- Awesome pictures
- Unique honeymoon
- Having everyone we've ever known there (we're thinking 50-60 people)
- Favors (probably won't have them)
- Tradition
- Having a huge bridal party (probably will have a Best Man and a Best Woman because I hate the phrase"Maid of Honor")
- DJ
- Flowers
- Having a theme
- Invitations
- Putting on a show for our guests
Yesterday I was still feeling nervous that our designated monthly savings wouldn't be enough to cover things. So, Carolina Man suggested we both commit to saving an extra $200 over what we said we would save each month. In a year, that gives us an extra $5K. And I don't think either of us will miss this as we both got raises this year.
I'm thankful for his calm attitude about all of this, and how on the same page we are about planning this event. And I feel good knowing that we're going to be able to afford the kind of wedding we both want.
Buena Vis(t)a
"Open it, open it!" Carolina Man said as he drove us to the gym, a healthy habit we were already cultivating on our second day of living together.
The single piece of mail we'd gotten that day had been an envelope from Capitol One. I'd raved to CM about my rewards AmEx and how I'd already spent enough to earn serious bucks off a trip--a honeymoon, maybe? Since he was just using his debit card, he figured he'd join the credit card rewards fun and earn some buck-age along the way.
We'd been in lots of conversations about our finances--how much we each had in savings, how much we wanted to spend together, and...how much we could set aside each month for a wedding. Thankfully we're not starting from scratch, but we aren't into A) doing it on the cheap B) counting on our families to help (though they might) or C) doing it in the far, far distant future. That means the more we can save, the better.
I thought it was kind of weird that he wanted me to open up his credit card envelope, but I figured he was just excited about having a new card and his hands were occupied with the driving.
But then, when I opened up the letter inside, I saw the card. It had a picture on it. A picture of us from our mini-vacation to the beach. We were in our bathing suits, lips locked, with a gorgeous blue sky and ocean behind us. A buena vista Visa.
It was the sweetest, most unexpected gesture. To me, it said, "I love this woman and I want everyone to know. I want everyone to see."
This guy's for real. I mean, my picture is on his credit card.
The single piece of mail we'd gotten that day had been an envelope from Capitol One. I'd raved to CM about my rewards AmEx and how I'd already spent enough to earn serious bucks off a trip--a honeymoon, maybe? Since he was just using his debit card, he figured he'd join the credit card rewards fun and earn some buck-age along the way.
We'd been in lots of conversations about our finances--how much we each had in savings, how much we wanted to spend together, and...how much we could set aside each month for a wedding. Thankfully we're not starting from scratch, but we aren't into A) doing it on the cheap B) counting on our families to help (though they might) or C) doing it in the far, far distant future. That means the more we can save, the better.
I thought it was kind of weird that he wanted me to open up his credit card envelope, but I figured he was just excited about having a new card and his hands were occupied with the driving.
But then, when I opened up the letter inside, I saw the card. It had a picture on it. A picture of us from our mini-vacation to the beach. We were in our bathing suits, lips locked, with a gorgeous blue sky and ocean behind us. A buena vista Visa.
It was the sweetest, most unexpected gesture. To me, it said, "I love this woman and I want everyone to know. I want everyone to see."
This guy's for real. I mean, my picture is on his credit card.
Couch Conflict
SCL and I were having a lovely time at the National Mall, walking through the sculpture garden with iced coffees in hand. We decided to have a seat and just enjoy the people.
That's when he decided to say something that I found really, really offensive. I can't remember how it came out, but he basically asked me to give him back the money that he used to help pay for the couch. I flipped my shit. Seriously. I could not believe it. Just moments before I'd been offering to help with getting sheets and a comforter for his new place, and he had the nerve to ask me to pay him back for the couch!
Let's not forget that he was the one who broke up with me, he was the one who wanted to get back together, he was the one who wanted to find a new place. And now he wants me to pay back the stupid money he put in for the couch? I'm sorry, but this seems awfully petty. And fucking cheap. I may have told him that several times.
It's not like we're just two roommates who decided to buy a couch together. It's not just a practical, logical thing. It's not a business deal. No, his asking me to pay him back says to me, "I'm not even going to throw you a fucking bone." All of this adjusting and having to be understanding of him, and he wants a lousy few hundred bucks back? If that's the game we're playing, then give me back that $300 I spent on your winter coat, you cheap-o.
If you couldn't tell, I was steaming.
We sit silently. I hurl some biting comments at him. I tell him he's being ridiculous. Then finally he confesses, "I don't have much money right now, and I want to buy you a birthday present" (my birthday is next month). See how much different that sounds vs. 'I want you to pay me back for the couch, even though I'm the reason we won't be using it together anymore'? I still think it's weird for me to pay him so that he can buy me a gift. This is something a parent does for a child--here's $10, go get Mom a Mother's Day gift.
Sometimes SCL really sucks at saying things in a way that won't hit a nerve, though I get now what he was trying to say. I'm still not sure how I feel about giving him the money back though. What would you do?
Four Weddings and an Ordination
I've declared 2010 the Year of Weddings. I went through another of these right when I graduated from college (crazy kids who got married right after schoo!), and looks like year will be even crazier. SCL and I have been invited to four so far this year, two of which are less than a week apart and two time zones away from each other. And one of our friends is not only getting married, but also ordained as a minister! Needless to say, we've got quite a bit of travel planned for this summer and fall. Here's our current timeline:
End of March: Ordination in Philadelphia, PA
Mid-July: Wedding in New Haven, CT
Beginning of August: Wedding in Savannah, GA
Mid-August: Wedding in Denver, CO
Mid-October: Wedding in Philadelphia, PA
We are so excited for our friends and plan to attend all of these events, which is going to mean some serious extra costs, especially when we'll have to fly to Savannah and Denver. And, I've already stated that I hate the drive to CT up I-95 and would prefer not to drive, even though it would be cheaper.
Given the extra costs, we're trying to plan ahead so as not to be caught off-guard when these dates start approaching.
- Since we've been so on target with budgeting, we actually have a little excess, which we've now put into a joint savings account. It's a great start!
- As I wrote yesterday, I'm going to put a few hundred dollars into this savings account each month. It's nice to be able to do that!
- We're thinking of creative ways to get there. For example, we're considering taking the Bolt Bus to New York and then taking the local train to New Haven rather than taking Amtrak. Not quite as convenient but better than driving ourselves and much cheaper.
- Staying with friends. Let me say I am for the most part beyond sleeping on people's couches. Sorry, at some point I became a grown up, and I want to be well-rested for my friends' special days! But we also have friends with guest rooms, and I'm going to contact them early about having us stay. Hotels can be nice, but they're expensive. And besides that, it's more fun to stay with friends!
- Staying fewer nights. A lot of these places are not too hard to get to and from, and even if it makes it an early morning or a late night, we might think about staying just one night if possible. I like sleeping in my own bed anyway.
I'm hoping that we might be able to make one of these trips more like a vacation (one of our goals as a couple is to take a trip together every year.) Maybe we'll splurge on a nicer place in one of the cities. But for the most part, this'll be an experiment in balancing frugal but relatively comfortable traveling.
Partners, but not (financial) equals?
My income has changed immensely at three distinct points in the past two years, and it's required a lot of adjusting on my part. The first one was expected: I was done with my schooling and had begun a fellowship with a decent salary. All of a sudden I had money in the bank...and then loans to pay off. I did the hard work of building up an emergency fund and paying off as much of my debt as I could each month. And I still had plenty of wiggle room to treat myself with the occasional new pair (or two) of shoes from DSW.
Just when I'd gotten accustomed to my financial situation, my fellowship was ending and I was back on the job hunt, this time in DC. What everyone warned me about was true: expect higher living expenses and a much lower salary. That was exactly what I got. When I finally got a job offer, I was thrilled until they offered me $10K less than what I was currently making. I did my best to negotiate, hoping they'd meet me at least halfway but they didn't. I got a measly $3K more than they'd originally offered me, and panic set in.
How was I going to live this way? I had debts to pay off and a relatively expensive share of rent to pay each month. I felt grateful to have SCL as a partner because he's careful with money. Living on a student stipend, he wasn't going to have much wiggle room either, and together we came up with a reasonable budget for shared expenses that has worked fantastically for the most part. Given my lower salary and my mandatory debt payments, we were (sadly, to me) making fairly close to the same amount each month.
As you all know, that job didn't last long for a number of reasons--including the low salary, as well as just generally disliking my position. When I was interviewing for this current position, I knew what the salary would be--a little under $20K more than I made at my first job in DC. Another huge financial shift.
I think we all can agree that making more money is really nice and helpful, but for me it was also a little daunting. What do I do with this extra money? And I began to think about how SCL and I were splitting things equally. Is that "right" or fair? Should I be paying more now that I'm making more? Would SCL be comfortable with that?
This is still something we're working through, and it'll continue to be an issue while he's in school and I'm (presumably...hopefully!) making more than he is. I waver between wanting to be really generous and knowing that this job is only for a year and wanting to invest this extra money wisely.
Here's one way I hope to be a bit more generous. SCL and I have been invited to at least three weddings in 2010, two of which aren't that close and one that'll require us flying there. Knowing that he doesn't have a lot of extra cash, I'm going to start putting away a little extra each month into a travel fund, so that when it comes time for us to make arrangements, we'll have that to offset the extra costs of attending these weddings.
How do you handle financial inequality?
The Downsides of Being a Consultant
First, let me just say that I love my job. It's the perfect mixture of things I'm passionate about with all the flexibility a person could want in a job. No one micromanages me, I get all the support I need from staff, and I have almost total autonomy. It's awesome.
Logistically, though, things are a bit of a nightmare. Since I'm not an employee, I'm not on payroll, so I get paper checks once a month. I've been paid once a month before, but it's not my favorite. When I first started, I was told I'd get a check between the 5th and the 10th each month. No big deal, I thought. I have a savings account that I can borrow from until I get paid. Even though it was psychologically difficult to move money out of my "emergency fund" and into daily spending, I knew that I'd be replacing it very soon. Or so I thought.
February has pretty much been dominated by Snowpocalypse 2.0. And we're supposed to get more snow this weekend! And my pay check was among the casualties. It pushed everything back, and on the 16th I still hadn't gotten my check in the mail. Thankfully it was in the office, so I went out of my way to go get it, deposit it, and finally got my FIRST PAYCHECK IN TWO MONTHS cleared and ready to use. Thank goodness!
But, another pain in the butt is that I have TONS of reimbursements that I haven't received yet. And we're not talking about a few hundred dollars. It's well over $1K at this point (again, backed up because of the snow.) Going through the bureaucracy of a big organization for things like reimbursements is not fun because it takes so much time. And, honestly I hadn't been keeping track on my own of just how much they owed me until yesterday--even though I'd put in the check requests. When I added it up yesterday, I thought, holy crap, they owe me a lot of cash! And that means I've been putting a ton on my credit card and paying it off with my own cash because the reimbursements have been so slow. This is so frustrating! I'm watching my savings account get drained, even though I know it'll be refilled. It makes me terribly uncomfortable.
Here's what I'm going to do to ease this burden:
Make a special savings account that is just for dipping into when I have to pay off my credit card for business expenses. That way, when I get reimbursed, I know where to put the money back. And it won't throw off my monthly budget. Having this liquid cash will make me feel better about the waiting time.
Get direct deposit. I just filled out a form for direct deposit, which hopefully will speed up the time it takes for me to get my reimbursements (and paycheck!)
Keep better track of just how much I'm owed. I've made a special spreadsheet for the reimbursements I've submitted and which ones I've received (so far: ZERO--but I know that one check is on the way.)
I'm hopeful that this will help me keep track of how much money I actually have each month. It's difficult to understand how much money I have left in my monthly budget if I'm having to spend some of it on business expenses that I'm not really responsible for.
Investing Beyond the IRA
Probably like many of you, I didn't get much financial advice growing up. I knew nothing about money, other than that my family didn't have much extra of it, and I learned not to ask for things we couldn't afford. When I started babysitting, I started raking in the dough for myself, but that cash was as good as spent. I can't even tell you how many CDs I must've bought in high school. I remember blowing through the several hundred dollars I'd saved up for college within the first months on senseless things. Thankfully, I didn't end up with my own credit card, so I never ended up in debt. (This was an act of grace, not my own knowing better. Believe me.)
Since entering the job force in 2008, I've been trying to learn more about finances. I opened up a Roth IRA last year, and contributed as much as I could while still paying down my student loans. Even when I moved to DC where expenses were higher and my paycheck was lower, I still managed to stick away money each month and didn't tap into my savings, even though I was certain that I was absolutely going to have to! No, I just learned that all those "necessities" I had weren't necessary at all. I just learned to put a cap on my spending. Finding a balance between being savvy and being a financial fuddy duddy is still something I'm learning.
Now I'm adjusting once again with a new salary that gives me a bit more wiggle room, and now that I've finally gotten my first check, I'm figuring out just what to do with that extra dough. I have developed a few financial goals for this year:
- Max out IRA
- Up emergency savings by another $2500
- Pay extra towards student loans
- Diversify investments
Are you all intimidated by the stock market? I am. I have my IRA in an aggressive growth account, but I'm not really sure what it's invested in. I figure my broker can figure that for me. Probably not smart. Since that's long term investment, though, and my portfolio is pretty diverse, for now I'm ok with keeping it that way.
But I want to play a little bit. I just opened up an account at Scottrade, which has $7 trading, and only requires $500 to start trading. For me, I think this is just about perfect. I would rather do some small, regular investing rather than jumping in with a lump sum. And this way, I figure I won't panic if things don't go too well right away (hello bad economy). I read somewhere that investing in companies you know and care about is a good way to start, so that's what I did.
Do you all invest in the stock market? If not, why not?
Sharing is Hot
Sometimes I wish I were a more practical blogger, like my friend Karen over at Living Well on Less. She has a fantastic blog today about the benefits of sharing a car. My first thought was, "Oo! Oo! That's something SCL and I do! Yay I'm doing something smart financially." I don't know if any of you read financial blogs, but most of the time, they depress me and make me feel like I'm not frugal enough. These feelings of inadequacy can only be alleviated with chocolate or new shoes. So, I don't really read them much anymore. I'm contributing to my IRA, consolidating student loans (finally came through!), and not going into debt. And SCL and I are still on track with our budgeting. We're even building up a balance in our joint account; imagine that!
But, Karen's post had me thinking about sharing and how it can help your relationship, not just financially but in other ways, too. Sharing a car means 1) less gas money needed 2) one parking permit rather than two 3) one insurance policy instead of two. We also just drive less in general. But, sharing a car means another shared space that we have. Most of the time spent in the car is together time for us, driving to an event or going to the grocery store. It reminds me of being a little kid and having good conversations with my mom when she took me to my millions of lessons every week, bless her.
Sharing, I'm learning, is about having another person in mind, not just splitting things in two. Whether it's the last piece of pizza or the first one to get into the bathroom in the morning, we try to be mindful of the other. Honestly, I think SCL is better at this than me, even though I'm the one with siblings (though to be fair, I have two older brothers, and if I wanted the last of anything, I had to snatch it when I had the chance. Survival mode, baby.) But, I'm learning to be better at sharing. Trying to better anyway.
Sharing also means a lot more work sometimes. Every time I do laundry, I complain that there are way too many white undershirts to clean. (WHY DO MEN HAVE SO MANY WHITE T-SHIRTS????) There are more coffee mugs to wash, more hair on the bathroom floor to try to vacuum up with little luck, less time for the DVR to record all of my favorite shows--and believe me, there are a lot of them.
This will be the first year we're sharing on holidays. We'll spend Thanksgiving with SCL's parents and Christmas at my house. Even harder than sharing is being shared, I think. It's another lesson, another opportunity to grow together, and more than anything, I'm thrilled to finally be sharing the holidays with the one I love.
But, Karen's post had me thinking about sharing and how it can help your relationship, not just financially but in other ways, too. Sharing a car means 1) less gas money needed 2) one parking permit rather than two 3) one insurance policy instead of two. We also just drive less in general. But, sharing a car means another shared space that we have. Most of the time spent in the car is together time for us, driving to an event or going to the grocery store. It reminds me of being a little kid and having good conversations with my mom when she took me to my millions of lessons every week, bless her.
Sharing, I'm learning, is about having another person in mind, not just splitting things in two. Whether it's the last piece of pizza or the first one to get into the bathroom in the morning, we try to be mindful of the other. Honestly, I think SCL is better at this than me, even though I'm the one with siblings (though to be fair, I have two older brothers, and if I wanted the last of anything, I had to snatch it when I had the chance. Survival mode, baby.) But, I'm learning to be better at sharing. Trying to better anyway.
Sharing also means a lot more work sometimes. Every time I do laundry, I complain that there are way too many white undershirts to clean. (WHY DO MEN HAVE SO MANY WHITE T-SHIRTS????) There are more coffee mugs to wash, more hair on the bathroom floor to try to vacuum up with little luck, less time for the DVR to record all of my favorite shows--and believe me, there are a lot of them.
This will be the first year we're sharing on holidays. We'll spend Thanksgiving with SCL's parents and Christmas at my house. Even harder than sharing is being shared, I think. It's another lesson, another opportunity to grow together, and more than anything, I'm thrilled to finally be sharing the holidays with the one I love.
Bills, Bills, Bills: How well did we do our first month of joint budgeting?
While August is not officially over, I want to go ahead and take a look at our spending for the month to see how it matched up with our guesstimates.First of all, can I get a what, what for us not going over budget in any of our areas? In fact, we were under a little in gas, laundry, household, groceries, and fun (i.e. going out on dates--although we have about $10 to spend over the weekend. Looks like an ice cream/candy date will be it for us this weekend!) We were way under in utilities, but that's mostly because our building is weird and we haven't quite figured out how they charge us.
I give us an A for the month. Seeing as how neither of us had budgeted as a couple, I think we did a damn fine job of creating a budget and sticking to it. I can't speak for us both, but personally I don't feel like we had to scrimp on much of anything. Yes, we were careful, but we also found cheaper ways of doing things we love, like using Restaurant.com to get discounts on dinner, bringing our own candy to the movies, and choosing matinees over evening show times.
SCL and I have talked briefly, and what he suggested (and makes most sense to me) is sticking to pretty much the same budget for September to see how it compares to August. We may make some minor modifications by shifting a little bit from one category to another, but we'll probably be starting with about the same base amount for this month.
Happy weekend!
Office Lunches: A necessary evil or a big waste of time and money?
It's Restaurant Week in DC, which I had heard about but wasn't planning on enjoying much. Going out for dinner is a treat when you're on a tight budget and frankly, going out to lunch is a big waste of cash in my mind when I know I can make a perfectly yummy meal at home for pennies basically. But a co-worker suggested a "fun" office lunch at Ten Penh, a fusion Asian restaurant close to our office. She was psyched because it was *only* $20 for three course meal. First of all, only $20? That sounds like a shitload to someone watching her spending. Second of all, who eats three courses at lunch, especially when serious work is expected of you afterward?
Unfortunately, there was little room for protestation from this brown bag diva. By the time I joined in the ridiculous string of internal e-mail conversations in which everyone seemingly jumped at the chance for a delicious meal, I begrudgingly agreed, not wanting to be the odd one out. I am still the newest member of the crew and want to show that I'm a team player, even if it means dropping cash on lunch. (After conversation with another co-worker, I realized I wasn't the only one feeling it was a bit pricey for a meal.)
Here's what I will say. The restaurant was superb. My meal, although way too much, was absolutely delicious: ginger limeade, fancy spring rolls, crabcakes with tempura beans and cold peanut noodle salad, and finished it up with a chocolate mousse cake. Yum.
If only I had been able to enjoy the whole experience more. Here's why. Office lunches are awkward, at least with my co-workers. There are enough socially awkward people who work here that it is absolutely impossible to have normal, fun, or even just polite conversation. The big boss lady arrived late--and I will say that up until that point things had been lighthearted and even close to comfortable. But as soon as she arrived, you could hear crickets. She then proceeded to fill the awkward silence with shop talk for the rest of the time, excluding half of us, and boring me to tears. Is there a professional development course on small talk and making your employees feel comfortable? I will sign her up.
To make matters more awkward, another coworker who could have a doctorate in TMI decided that dessert is the proper time to tell everyone about the time she went to a nice restaurant and enjoyed a nice piece of tuna.... and then proceeded to have very bad gas and diarrhea for the next day. I am not even close to kidding. Seriously, I'm begging for these people to take Social Skills 101...or even Table Talk Do's and Don'ts. Or even Manners for Five Year-Olds. Even that would cover not using potty talk at the freakin' table!
When the bill came, our supposed $20 meal ended up being $31 per person. Frankly, I'm pissed that I paid $31 dollars for an hour and a half of awkwardness. Needless to say, my personal spending budget for the month has been maxed, so it's going to be a frugal weekend for me. As long as it's free of talk concerning bowels or work, that will be just fine with me.
So, lovely readers, what have your experiences with work lunches been? Friend or foe? Worthwhile or worth skipping?
Unfortunately, there was little room for protestation from this brown bag diva. By the time I joined in the ridiculous string of internal e-mail conversations in which everyone seemingly jumped at the chance for a delicious meal, I begrudgingly agreed, not wanting to be the odd one out. I am still the newest member of the crew and want to show that I'm a team player, even if it means dropping cash on lunch. (After conversation with another co-worker, I realized I wasn't the only one feeling it was a bit pricey for a meal.)
Here's what I will say. The restaurant was superb. My meal, although way too much, was absolutely delicious: ginger limeade, fancy spring rolls, crabcakes with tempura beans and cold peanut noodle salad, and finished it up with a chocolate mousse cake. Yum.
If only I had been able to enjoy the whole experience more. Here's why. Office lunches are awkward, at least with my co-workers. There are enough socially awkward people who work here that it is absolutely impossible to have normal, fun, or even just polite conversation. The big boss lady arrived late--and I will say that up until that point things had been lighthearted and even close to comfortable. But as soon as she arrived, you could hear crickets. She then proceeded to fill the awkward silence with shop talk for the rest of the time, excluding half of us, and boring me to tears. Is there a professional development course on small talk and making your employees feel comfortable? I will sign her up.
To make matters more awkward, another coworker who could have a doctorate in TMI decided that dessert is the proper time to tell everyone about the time she went to a nice restaurant and enjoyed a nice piece of tuna.... and then proceeded to have very bad gas and diarrhea for the next day. I am not even close to kidding. Seriously, I'm begging for these people to take Social Skills 101...or even Table Talk Do's and Don'ts. Or even Manners for Five Year-Olds. Even that would cover not using potty talk at the freakin' table!
When the bill came, our supposed $20 meal ended up being $31 per person. Frankly, I'm pissed that I paid $31 dollars for an hour and a half of awkwardness. Needless to say, my personal spending budget for the month has been maxed, so it's going to be a frugal weekend for me. As long as it's free of talk concerning bowels or work, that will be just fine with me.
So, lovely readers, what have your experiences with work lunches been? Friend or foe? Worthwhile or worth skipping?
(Is it feminist to talk about coupons?) Or, How I Got a Week's Worth of Groceries for $38
While many of our expenses are fixed (rent, parking, Metro, Internet), our monthly grocery bill is something we can have a bit more control over. This is our first month budgeting together, but we gave our best estimation and designated $250 for groceries this month (approx. $55 per week). Up until last night we'd done a bulk of our grocery shopping at Shoppers Food & Pharmacy, a relatively low-priced store just a mile from our house. Each week we sit down to make a meal plan and write a list. Generally speaking, we follow it almost exactly with the exception of an occasional impulse ice cream or candy purchase. (Before entering the store, I'll scrawl "candy" on the list and claim that we must get it since it's written on the list.) Each week we spend approximately the same amount of money on groceries, generally between $50 and $60, no matter how much or how little we buy. While reasonable for two people and even well below most of my friends' grocery bills, I still thought we could do better.
A few weeks ago I got something in the mail that our local Target was opening a fresh food section in their grocery department. Although I'm quite the Target lover, ours had been cramped and understocked, most likely due to the redesign, but last night we decided we'd try it and compare some prices, figuring we could get anything we didn't find there at the grocery store in the same shopping center.
As it turns out, everything on our list we found at Target. Note: we didn't need a ton of fresh stuff this week as we had leftover fruit and veggies, so that made shopping there a breeze. Here's what we got for $38.
Strawberries (on sale for $1.79)
Target brand half-and-half
Lunch meat
Garlic Bread (coupon for 50 cents off)
Cottage Cheese
Tomato Puree
Pepperoni
Two boxes of whole-wheat pasta ($1 coupon)
Newman's Own Pasta Sauce (75 cents coupon)
Graham Crackers
Marshmallow Fluff (in oatmeal--seriously, try it)
Granola Bars ($1 coupon)
5-lb bag of flour (for pizza dough!)
Dove chocolates ($1 coupon)
Now, you may be thinking, "Gross, what could you possibly eat?" Before heading to the grocery store, we made an inventory of stuff we already had and what we could make by supplementing a few things. Generally, we never buy for a dish that requires us to buy all new ingredients. We incorporate what we already have and supplement each week. We buy things we use all the time at Costco (for a later post) and shop at the grocery store to fill out with extras in order to make meals.
Our cuisine isn't sophisticated, but we do eat relatively healthy dishes and don't find our evenings too chaotic with trying to make elaborate dinners. All in all, it works for us, and we're saving a lot of money in the process.
But, this post brings up a point about financial blogs and gender norms that my friend L and I were discussing. This is something I'd like to explore, but I wonder if others have thoughts on this. Our sense was that women generally talk household expenses and men talk investment, retirement, etc. Is this true? And if not, can someone lead me in the direction of a feminist financial blog? I used to follow Feminist Finance but she's taken a hiatus for quite some time.
A few weeks ago I got something in the mail that our local Target was opening a fresh food section in their grocery department. Although I'm quite the Target lover, ours had been cramped and understocked, most likely due to the redesign, but last night we decided we'd try it and compare some prices, figuring we could get anything we didn't find there at the grocery store in the same shopping center.
As it turns out, everything on our list we found at Target. Note: we didn't need a ton of fresh stuff this week as we had leftover fruit and veggies, so that made shopping there a breeze. Here's what we got for $38.
Strawberries (on sale for $1.79)
Target brand half-and-half
Lunch meat
Garlic Bread (coupon for 50 cents off)
Cottage Cheese
Tomato Puree
Pepperoni
Two boxes of whole-wheat pasta ($1 coupon)
Newman's Own Pasta Sauce (75 cents coupon)
Graham Crackers
Marshmallow Fluff (in oatmeal--seriously, try it)
Granola Bars ($1 coupon)
5-lb bag of flour (for pizza dough!)
Dove chocolates ($1 coupon)
Now, you may be thinking, "Gross, what could you possibly eat?" Before heading to the grocery store, we made an inventory of stuff we already had and what we could make by supplementing a few things. Generally, we never buy for a dish that requires us to buy all new ingredients. We incorporate what we already have and supplement each week. We buy things we use all the time at Costco (for a later post) and shop at the grocery store to fill out with extras in order to make meals.
Our cuisine isn't sophisticated, but we do eat relatively healthy dishes and don't find our evenings too chaotic with trying to make elaborate dinners. All in all, it works for us, and we're saving a lot of money in the process.
But, this post brings up a point about financial blogs and gender norms that my friend L and I were discussing. This is something I'd like to explore, but I wonder if others have thoughts on this. Our sense was that women generally talk household expenses and men talk investment, retirement, etc. Is this true? And if not, can someone lead me in the direction of a feminist financial blog? I used to follow Feminist Finance but she's taken a hiatus for quite some time.
Financial Figuring
Over the weekend SCL and I sat down with our calculators and computers to construct a rough monthly budget. Up until now, we've just been keeping track of our joint purchases with receipts, but now that we've opened up a joint account with ING Direct, we needed to figure out what our monthly contribution would be for joint expenses, which is practically everything for us.
I thought we might have some minor disagreements about how much to budget in certain areas. At times when one of us would suggest a budget item, we'd sit in silence for a bit. I'd be thinking of a figure but was hesitant to say it aloud, worried that it would sound unreasonably high or low. But in actuality, it took us very little time to come to a consensus and now I'm looking forward to seeing how accurate we were in our estimations.
Tips for budgeting together:
1. Use Excel, which not only adds up everything as you work on it, but also provides nifty graphs to analyze your budget break-down.
2. Start with fixed expenses, like rent, utilities, etc. from most expensive to least expensive and then do the same with discretionary spending, like going out to eat.
3. If needed, clarify what categories cover. For instance, I wanted to know if groceries covered paper products or if that was under household expenses. Also, I "needed" candy the other night, and I wanted to know if that was under groceries (because it's food) or under "fun" (since candy is totally fun). You can also decide these things along the way.
4. Decide what you will do if you have a balance at the end of the month. Will you roll it over into the next month? Will you put it into a savings account?
5. Determine how you will keep track of purchases, either using a checkbook, online banking, or an Excel sheet. I'm also considering signing us up for Mint.com, which tracks spending by categories.
I hope this is helpful. I'll keep you updated on how we did during our first month!
I thought we might have some minor disagreements about how much to budget in certain areas. At times when one of us would suggest a budget item, we'd sit in silence for a bit. I'd be thinking of a figure but was hesitant to say it aloud, worried that it would sound unreasonably high or low. But in actuality, it took us very little time to come to a consensus and now I'm looking forward to seeing how accurate we were in our estimations.
Tips for budgeting together:
1. Use Excel, which not only adds up everything as you work on it, but also provides nifty graphs to analyze your budget break-down.
2. Start with fixed expenses, like rent, utilities, etc. from most expensive to least expensive and then do the same with discretionary spending, like going out to eat.
3. If needed, clarify what categories cover. For instance, I wanted to know if groceries covered paper products or if that was under household expenses. Also, I "needed" candy the other night, and I wanted to know if that was under groceries (because it's food) or under "fun" (since candy is totally fun). You can also decide these things along the way.
4. Decide what you will do if you have a balance at the end of the month. Will you roll it over into the next month? Will you put it into a savings account?
5. Determine how you will keep track of purchases, either using a checkbook, online banking, or an Excel sheet. I'm also considering signing us up for Mint.com, which tracks spending by categories.
I hope this is helpful. I'll keep you updated on how we did during our first month!
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