The last time SCL and I slept together was February 26th. I know this because apparently he wrote the date down. Even though our break-up was not for another month, things had begun to disintegrate between us weeks before that, and I didn't feel comfortable being intimate with him when I didn't feel close to him. So, not having sex when we were officially broken up wasn't too difficult. By then it had already been a month, and I was getting used to sprawling out in our queen-sized bed.
Now that we're back together again, this is something we have to address again. We both agree that we want a better sex life together, but the question is, how long do we wait before we engage each other sexually? My therapist C told me that it takes three months for a person to no longer be on his "best behavior." She asked what I thought about that. I told her three months sounded like a long-ass time, especially because we know each other so much. But it got me thinking about it--the physical intimacy shouldn't overpower the other forms of intimacy we're rebuilding, namely the emotional intimacy that is new for us.
SCL and I discussed it, and we've decided to wait a month. In the meantime, we're rediscovering the joy of long make-out sessions and enjoying the torturous longing for each other. And I'm still enjoying sprawling out in our big bed.