I told her that I thought our joint session had gone well, though I wasn't sure what that would mean for the future. I think it showed both of us that we do communicate about a lot of important things already, which was affirming and encouraging. Since we last met, I had signed a lease for my new room and was feeling good about it. In general I was feeling better about everything, even the ambiguity. Everything feels less intense than it did a few weeks ago, so it's easier to handle on a daily basis.
We ended up spending a lot of time on the couch situation. She, although she didn't say it, was horrified by his request (I could tell by the reaction she had in her eyes). I'm so glad that I talked with her about it because at that point I was leaning toward--shocking--giving into him. Haven't I done that enough already? He's been calling all the shots lately, and she helped me see that my tendency is to care for him, forget about what I need, and bend to his wishes because I think I have to do that to keep the relationship going. She said, "You can disagree on this. You don't have to do what he wants you to do." And, oh yeah, I'm not responsible for him or his finances. I never was, but now that he's decided to move out and have an undefined thing of a "relationship", I'm really not.
And really, do I want to be stuck in a place where I feel like I have to bend to him in order for us to stay together? What does that mean for me and for what I want? If nothing else, I left my session feeling pretty damn justified in my decision not to pay him a damn cent for that couch. And if he doesn't like it, so be it.
Good for you! You're getting stronger and more sure of yourself, regardless of what he does.ReplyDelete
I'm glad you are not paying him...and btw...congrats on the new place!ReplyDelete
I'm proud of you! I think you've made the right decision. His request was tactless and I was honestly slightly embarrassed for him when I read your previous post. Good luck!ReplyDelete
You go girl!! =D What a great decision, even the bf agrees! (he reads too lol)ReplyDelete