Clearing the Air...Thanks to You

Let me begin by expressing my love for all of you, blog friends. I do take your comments seriously, and your feedback really does shape my thoughts and attitudes about what's going on with SCL. And in the case of yesterday's disappearing act, it really helped me address my concerns with him.

Since we're both a little low on cash, we had planned a date to the Natural History Museum that afternoon. I wasn't thrilled about going, but decided to anyway. (Note: if you are visiting DC, the prime time to visit the museums is after 5:00. There were hardly any people there, which was nearly a miracle given the influx of tourists this time of year.) I decided just to see how things went. By the time we got around to the Triceratops fossil, I decided just to say: "Look, I don't feel like you're putting much effort into this. Do you really want to do this?" This meaning the relationship.

He was pretty embarrassed about his beer shenanigans. SCL's never been much of a party-guy. He's a nerdy-guy. Apparently he'd done a keg stand for the first time and played beer pong. So, yeah I think he was pretty drunk and did make a half-hearted attempt to catch the last train. I don't know what got into him that made him think any of this was a good idea, but I would be surprised if it becomes a habit of his or even something he does again in the near future.

But despite his embarrassment, he still deserved to hear from me. Thank you to commenters:
  • Brian at The (Soon to Be) Groom for pointing out that SCL was taking advantage of the ambiguity of our situation and using it as an excuse to come and go as he pleases.
  • Cee at Curiosity for reminding me that this would bother her even if it were a roommate, much less a live-in boyfriend-ish person.
  • Krysten at After 'I Do' for sharing my pain of not being able to sleep when the SO isn't home.
  • And finally, an Anonymous commenter for reminding me that no matter what happens in this quasi-relationship, it'll all be ok. Including me.
You all helped me stand up for myself and let him know that staying out all night isn't cool! At least send a girl a text that says "I'm alive." And he got the picture, I think. Only time will tell.

10 comments:

  1. I love it when my commenters give me great advice. I am glad you were able to talk to him. I hope that things start going more smoothly. And as anonymous said, it will be okay. ((HUGS))

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  2. HR, I had no idea when I started blogging what a great community it would be. I love it! Thanks for your encouragement, as always. :-)

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  3. I am so happy that you're being open with him. That's such an awesome step in working towards making the relationship stronger.

    I hope you have an awesome weekend lady!

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  4. I applaud you for standing up for yourself and telling SCL how you feel. If you haven't noticed, and I know you have, we guys have trouble with this. Part of our "charm" is always seeing everything with rose colored glasses. Or in SCL's case beer goggles.

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  5. I think it's awesome how open and honest you are being in your new relationship with SCL. It's obvious you have seen the mistakes you made in the past and don't want to repeat them. It's very inspirational for ME to read, because I have a tendency to keep things to myself so when that day comes for me to be in a relationship, this blog is helpful for me to figure out the nuances of what works and what doesn't.

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  6. It feels great to be strong, open, and honest!

    Stephany, that's a huge compliment. Thank you. It's such a journey figuring this out, and I'm by no means perfect--but like you said, I'm trying to be humble, learn from my mistakes, and move forward.

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  7. Congrats on having the guts to have that conversation with him! I know it must have been hard.

    xo,

    Sweet Dee

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  8. Yay! For the blogging community! =D

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  9. So what was his repsonse to your "do you really want to do this" question?? And I sadly, I completely understand what Brian is saying. I'm going through exactly what he commeneted about and it's no fun, no fun at all.

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  10. Jen, he didn't get defensive at all. He understood why I was upset and why I would think something like that would be an indication that he wasn't interested in the relationship anymore. But I honestly think it was a dumb guy thing and nothing more. He told me that he does want to be with me and spend time with me, and right now he is currently making me breakfast in bed. Again, only time will tell. If staying out all night becomes a habit of his, I'll have to rethink things, but for now I think it was just a poor decision.

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