Let's Talk about (the Lack of) Sex

The beauty of blogging anonymously is I get to be raw, open, and honest with my blog community. Up until now I haven't really talked about sexuality. I'm hugely progressive when it comes to the sexuality of other people (I used to work for a sexuality organization!), but when it comes to myself, I've still got a bit of that Southern belle/good girl complex going on. But seeing as how this is a relationship blog, it would be ridiculous for me not to talk about sex.

The last time SCL and I slept together was February 26th. I know this because apparently he wrote the date down. Even though our break-up was not for another month, things had begun to disintegrate between us weeks before that, and I didn't feel comfortable being intimate with him when I didn't feel close to him. So, not having sex when we were officially broken up wasn't too difficult. By then it had already been a month, and I was getting used to sprawling out in our queen-sized bed.

Now that we're back together again, this is something we have to address again. We both agree that we want a better sex life together, but the question is, how long do we wait before we engage each other sexually? My therapist C told me that it takes three months for a person to no longer be on his "best behavior." She asked what I thought about that. I told her three months sounded like a long-ass time, especially because we know each other so much. But it got me thinking about it--the physical intimacy shouldn't overpower the other forms of intimacy we're rebuilding, namely the emotional intimacy that is new for us.

SCL and I discussed it, and we've decided to wait a month. In the meantime, we're rediscovering the joy of long make-out sessions and enjoying the torturous longing for each other. And I'm still enjoying sprawling out in our big bed.