So, here we go. Yesterday SCL came back after three nights at his parents. After being home for about an hour, he started packing things into my car to take to his new place. Although his lease doesn't start until June 1st, the landlord/SCL's new roommate had said he could start moving things in this week. I don't blame SCL for wanting to move stuff in gradually, but it was kind of tough to see him for a few minutes and then the next moment he's packing up his shit. Well, I'm going to have to face it sooner or later. He's moving out.
But this is not the disappearing act I'm talking about. Ironically last night I wrote something in my journal like, "I really want to know that SCL isn't going anywhere, but right now I don't even trust him to come home at night." And that is true. The nights when he's out later than I am, I usually keep my bedroom door open to hear him come in. My mom did this when we were teenagers because she said she couldn't sleep until she knew we were home safe. Most of the time I don't hear him but when I wake up, he's there sound asleep.
Until last night. After moving some of his stuff over, he took a shower and went over to a party around 5:30. I didn't ask when he'd be home, and I didn't even leave my door open. But I did assume he would come home. Apparently that isn't a safe assumption to make because when I woke up this morning, I looked out in the living room and he wasn't there. I was worried and pretty pissed. I went to check my phone and email; no word from him. I figured he'd just gotten drunk or had missed the last train, but neither of these options sounded much like him. He's always managed to get home before.
I sent him a text, "R u ok?" and he texted back yes, that he had stayed over where the party was and would be home later. Well, at least he's ok. I'm not so much upset over him not coming home, but that he didn't let me know that he might stay over. The bigger issue to me is wondering if this is how it's going to be with us. Is staying out all night and not calling now something I'm expected to just accept as ok? I guess when he moves into his own place, it will be different, but while we're still living in the same apartment, it would just be nice to know where he is. But it's like he's already gone.