I'm Sorry, Are We Not Having Contact?

I'm sitting in my hotel room, overlooking the Cardinals game. I just consumed a chicken quesadilla and a piece of peanut butter pie, complete with a Coca-Cola. You could say it was a comfort meal. I need some comfort.

Before I left for St. Louis, I specifically asked SCL about communication while I was away since we're trying to be more honest and open, as well as take things more slowly. He said, "We can talk on the computer." I took this to mean e-mail, Gchat, or Facebook chat. Perhaps I should've been more specific. It's now been approximately 60 hours since I left DC, and I have not heard a single peep from SCL. And I'm kind of irritated.

I'm imagining what I will do if he doesn't contact me at all before I arrive home tomorrow evening. I imagine I will be fucking furious. What about him showing me that he's for real this time? I appreciate the distance, but a simple "Hi, hope you're doing well" would have been nice. Or, you know, "did you make it there alive?" kind of thing would have also been acceptable.

I'm tired--tired of being the one to be communicative all the time. What makes him think that what I need to feel secure about his commitment (something I told him I would need him to show me) is silence on his end? Again, I'm not saying we needed to chat on the phone for hours and hours, but just a "I'm thinking about you" note or logging onto Gchat for five minutes would have made all the difference.

Do I really need to spell things out this clearly? Why wouldn't it occur to him that I need to hear from him at some point during the past three days? Oh, wouldn't you know, he just signed onto Gchat. Of course. Let's see if he says something.

5 comments:

  1. Oh no. That doesn't sound good...let us know how the gchat goes.

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  2. Yikes. But you never know. Guys are kind of dumb about stuff like that.

    Man, and that was me enabling him. Never mind!

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  3. Ohhhhh I hope the gchat went well. This must be hard. Keep us updated. ((HUGS))

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  4. ooohhh men! I am with the others hope the gchat goes well! And DO NOT initiate woman! =D

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  5. Maybe he's unsure of the boundaries still. Sometimes I find that I have to be very specific with my husband when telling him something because he doesn't understand hints whatsoever.

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