We talked only briefly beforehand about what we wanted from the session. I said I wanted to explore why our relationship fell apart and find new ways to relate better. SCL said that he wanted to get some clarity about how he's feeling about us. So, we're definitely in different places in terms of where we currently see the situation.
C asked what barriers we see in our current situation. SCL said living together is very difficult for him because it feels "normal" although we're not as we were before. I responded that I didn't feel like it was "normal" because he's living in another room! But I got what he meant; it is weird to still be living in this shared space, although that will only be for a few more weeks. He's already found a new place, and I'm searching for mine.
One thing that came out was right now, although he does want to get married eventually, SCL doesn't see himself getting married while he's in school. What this means is that although he told me it was, his going to school was never a "good for us" thing. And C said I'll have to see if that's something I can accept. In my mind, I think, "Ok, I guess I could wait until I'm 31 or so to get married." But it's really not what I want, at least for now.
That was probably when C was at her wisest. She said, "People's feelings change over time. There's no way to project how we will feel about something in the future." This means SCL could continue feeling that way about marriage or not. I could continue feeling this way about marriage or not. We don't know.
But I know that we're doing well right now. And I want to continue doing better. I'm trying to live in the moment and take it one day at a time.