Some of you have asked "Whatever happened to Mr. Navy?" Here's what happened.
We made plans to meet Thursday night, and then he had to reschedule for last night because of a work-related conflict. Not wanting to sound too available (even though part of me would have wanted to plans with the President for a date with him), I said, "Let me check. I have plans later that night" (with Date Me, DC!, by the way). Eventually I put him out of what I had hoped was waiting misery and agreed to meet him at 6:30.
I got super dressed up and even went so far as to exfoliate my feet for a good 10 minutes in the shower. Details, people. Details. We showed up at exactly the same time and sat outside. Never having had Ethiopian food and not wanting to look foolish on my date, I had interrogated some friends earlier on how to do it. The biggest piece of advice was not to eat too much of the bread because that shit is filling. What I really needed, however, was how not to act like a jackass on a date.
As soon as we sat down, it felt a little...weird. We had stuff to talk about, but the conversation didn't flow like I'd hoped. We didn't really address what had happened in Dewey I began to think, "Ok, I think we're moving into the friend zone." And I kind of just went with that. He asked me about my dates, I told him a little bit about Dr. Nutrition. I also told him about seeing SCL this week. He'd apparently had a similar encounter last week with the girl who broke his heart earlier this year. Once we got into the relationship/dating conversation zone, things relaxed a lot. It was really helpful to have a guy's perspective on the dating stuff.
He walked me to the super secret speakeasy where I was meeting Katie and company. We hugged it out and I thought, "Ok, no more predicament. Dr. Nutrition is the one I'm really interested in. How convenient to only like one guy!" I proceeded to have a fucking awesome time with Katie and her friends, and ended up not getting home until 3.
This morning, however, I was surprised to get a Gchat from Mr. Navy, asking how the evening went. And then of course I went straight into over-analyzing self. I'd sent our mutual friend (who interestingly is in Dubai at the moment) a note last night saying that we'd gone out but that I was pretty sure what had happened in Dewey wasn't translating into our normal lives here in DC. She asked me, "So,w hat happened?" I told her I'd told him about the dates with other guys. Then she questioned why I'd done that. And then I thought, "Oh shit, did I fuck something up? Why did I do that? Why did I move things into the friend zone?"
Oh, that's right. Maybe because I knew in my gut that's where we belonged. But my self-doubting ass couldn't let the idea go that I'd done something to actively fuck this up. So, I immediately backtracked with Mr. Navy--saying I felt dumb for telling him about the dates, etc when I was on a date with him. Again, the gut spilling is out of control!
And you know what he said? He said he just wanted to be friends. WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT GO WITH MY GUT? I could have avoided all of these current feelings of embarrassment and humiliation had I just listened to my gut.
I'm going to hide now.
Insecurities
I was planning to write a post about Mr. Executive Chef, a guy who seems to think I am God's gift to men even though we've never met. He is constantly contacting me, and even friended me on Facebook! Can you say "overkill"?
But, what I've really been processing is the night I had with Dr. Nutrition. I hadn't intended for things to take such a serious turn in our conversation, but it was as if as soon as I opened up, I couldn't stop myself from just vomiting my feelings all over the place. I put myself in a really vulnerable state with someone I hardly know, which is not atypical for me (apparently I cannot learn) but a little foolish nonetheless. At least I think it is.
What I disliked the most was my own insecurity in the situation--feeling anxious, unsettled, uncomfortable, awkward, and unable to look him in the eyes for more than a few seconds without laughing or averting my gaze. And I've been trying to figure out why.
For so long I felt insecure about my relationship with SCL. I felt like I wasn't quite enough for him, and I always worried that there'd be some part of me he'd uncover that would ultimately do him in. Living in this constant state of fear clearly has had an effect on me and I sense that I'm still living those feelings out and struggling to let them go. But, it means that I'm almost expecting Dr. Nutrition to do the same. Maybe not now, but surely at some point he'll realize I'm not the person he claims to see when he looks into my eyes. .
The fastest way for me to feel insecure is to think about Dr. Nutrition's passion for healthy living. He's super fit, runs marathons, refs soccer games, does triathlons, works on wellness, does yoga regularly, can do a handstand. Me? I like to hit the gym 4-5 days a week for an hour or so, reading magazines and watching TV as I do it. I hate running. I rarely lift weights. Yoga is my idea of torture. And I really, really like eating candy. At least in this area he's the superstar, and I feel pretty fucking average. I wonder if he really wants to be with someone like me who thinks luluelemon is a rip off and would rather drink margaritas than get a runner's high (which I swear to God does not exist).
And therein lies the problem. Self-sabotage. Why am I trying to convince myself that this guy doesn't like me when clearly he does? He wouldn't have asked me out 5 times in three weeks if he didn't. Everything he says and does indicates that he doesn't just think I'm ok, but really he thinks I'm fantastic. So, why the hell am I so preoccupied with figuring out what he probably doesn't like or what eventually he'll discover that he doesn't like? Is a way to prepare myself for some future blow to the ego? Why do I think I'm not good enough for him?
I wish I could just inject myself with some genuine confidence and self-esteem before these dates.
If I could say something to Dr. Nutrition right now, it would be this: I'm not quite where I want to be right now, but I know that I get there eventually. If I try to push myself into anything, I know I'll freak out and run away. So, the best thing is to keep taking this one day (and date) at a time. Will you be patient with me as I work through this stuff?
I honestly think his response would be, "Absolutely."
But, what I've really been processing is the night I had with Dr. Nutrition. I hadn't intended for things to take such a serious turn in our conversation, but it was as if as soon as I opened up, I couldn't stop myself from just vomiting my feelings all over the place. I put myself in a really vulnerable state with someone I hardly know, which is not atypical for me (apparently I cannot learn) but a little foolish nonetheless. At least I think it is.
What I disliked the most was my own insecurity in the situation--feeling anxious, unsettled, uncomfortable, awkward, and unable to look him in the eyes for more than a few seconds without laughing or averting my gaze. And I've been trying to figure out why.
For so long I felt insecure about my relationship with SCL. I felt like I wasn't quite enough for him, and I always worried that there'd be some part of me he'd uncover that would ultimately do him in. Living in this constant state of fear clearly has had an effect on me and I sense that I'm still living those feelings out and struggling to let them go. But, it means that I'm almost expecting Dr. Nutrition to do the same. Maybe not now, but surely at some point he'll realize I'm not the person he claims to see when he looks into my eyes. .
The fastest way for me to feel insecure is to think about Dr. Nutrition's passion for healthy living. He's super fit, runs marathons, refs soccer games, does triathlons, works on wellness, does yoga regularly, can do a handstand. Me? I like to hit the gym 4-5 days a week for an hour or so, reading magazines and watching TV as I do it. I hate running. I rarely lift weights. Yoga is my idea of torture. And I really, really like eating candy. At least in this area he's the superstar, and I feel pretty fucking average. I wonder if he really wants to be with someone like me who thinks luluelemon is a rip off and would rather drink margaritas than get a runner's high (which I swear to God does not exist).
And therein lies the problem. Self-sabotage. Why am I trying to convince myself that this guy doesn't like me when clearly he does? He wouldn't have asked me out 5 times in three weeks if he didn't. Everything he says and does indicates that he doesn't just think I'm ok, but really he thinks I'm fantastic. So, why the hell am I so preoccupied with figuring out what he probably doesn't like or what eventually he'll discover that he doesn't like? Is a way to prepare myself for some future blow to the ego? Why do I think I'm not good enough for him?
I wish I could just inject myself with some genuine confidence and self-esteem before these dates.
If I could say something to Dr. Nutrition right now, it would be this: I'm not quite where I want to be right now, but I know that I get there eventually. If I try to push myself into anything, I know I'll freak out and run away. So, the best thing is to keep taking this one day (and date) at a time. Will you be patient with me as I work through this stuff?
I honestly think his response would be, "Absolutely."
Take It Slow
Last week Dr. Nutrition invited me to dinner in Bethesda/"Canada"/his neighborhood for our fourth date. In true Dr. Nutrition form, he was late and I was on time. But once he got there, my annoyance dissipated....because it was replaced by horror at the (I kid you not) crushed velvet shirt he had on. Let me just say this guy is VERY comfortable in his sexual identity. And, he can also handle me poking fun at him, too.
We walked around Bethesda, which is actually very beautiful and feels like a grown-up Arlington. He took me to his favorite store--Lululemon--where he literally knows every employee. One particularly chipper chick said, "We're going on a run to Guapo's in Tenleytown! Want to come with us?" Girlfriend, does it look like I'm dressed for a fucking run? And if you think I'm going to drop $250 for some of your overpriced sports bras and shorts, you are delusional.
Eventually we ended up at a Thai restaurant, and this time, the waitress only had to come by three times before we were ready to order (this is significantly fewer times than our previous dates because we'd get to talking and never look at the menu). I ordered my usual glass of wine, but he stuck with water because, of course, he's doing a triathlon this weekend. I'm trying to figure out how I feel about dating someone who is in WAY better shape than I am. But, as usual, we had great conversation. He's seriously cute and we never run out of things to talk about.
After dinner he took me to his place and showed me his "toys"--a Razor scooter, a hula hoop, a unicycle. I'm telling you, this guy is unlike any I've ever met. I love that he's playful and really doesn't give a fuck what other people think. He warned me that his bedroom had no furniture. And he wasn't kidding. He literally had a mattress on the floor, and that was it! It was perhaps the saddest thing I have ever seen. He lives up in the attic, and blames the narrowness of the staircase for his lack of decoration. To that I say, "Get your ass to IKEA because this shit is grim."
Let me just add that making out on a mattress on the floor feels a little too dorm room to me. Especially when the guy puts Norah Jones on. All I could think about was my college boyfriend, which is not exactly the mindset I was hoping for. And I was feeling a little conflicted about the time I'd had with SCL the day before.
"I should get going, " I said. It was getting late, and I had a long Metro ride back to Arlington. "Would you stay longer if I drove you home?" he asked. I agreed, and we continued to make out. Then the panic set back in, "Oh God, does he think I'm ready to sleep with him?" Because I wasn't. Not even a little. That's just not my style. I get too freaking attached, and I'm just not ready to feel that way about someone.
He drove me home, and I invited him in to meet my roommates while I quickly cleaned up my room. I had not exactly planned on having a visitor, seeing as how we started the evening in Canada. But one of the things I really like about Dr. Nutrition is that I feel like I could introduce him to any of my friends or family, and they'd love him. He's so good at relating to other people. In the five minutes it took for me to throw the dirty clothes and papers into the closet, he was already chatting it up with my roommate G.
I showed him my room. "See, this is what a grown-up room looks like!" Needless to say, it is way better to make out in a real bed and not a mattress on the floor.
It was around midnight that I felt the compulsion to bare my soul. I may not jump in sexually with a new person, but for whatever reason, I have a hard time holding back when it comes to spilling my guts. I'm a processor, and I just had all of these conflicting feelings about the situation--liking him, thinking about SCL, wondering what Dr. Nutrition was thinking. While I spared him the details of the break-up, I alluded to the fact that heartache wasn't in my too distant past, and it has me feeling a little afraid. I can't stand the idea of getting hurt again. I don't think I could take it. Basically, I had a bunch of internal shit distracting me from the present situation, and it left me feeling vulnerable and embarrassed.
But here's the good part of the story: it didn't seem to shake him at all. He didn't bolt. He just listened attentively and held me close. Dr. Nutrition is truly an exceptional person, from what I've seen so far. I've never met someone who seems so settled and comfortable in his own skin that I honestly think short of a murder confession there's really nothing I could say that would freak him out. It's a strange but good feeling to be the one who doesn't have it together completely. "I wish my feelings were more simple," I said. "What are you feeling?" he asked. "I feel happy to be with you right now, and that's all I want to feel right now. Does it bother you that I'm still healing?" "No," he said. "We've all been there."
He told me, "I think you are a beautiful person." I laughed, "But you don't even know me!" He responded, "I have pretty good intuition about people. Plus, your eyes tell me everything--that you are caring, loyal, passionate, warm, outgoing..."
Happy sigh. I like this one.
Looking back on the night, I wish things hadn't gotten so serious, but that's just where I was at the moment. And knowing it didn't freak him out (at least from what I could tell) makes me even more interested in getting to know him. Next week we'll lighten the mood with a wine tasting and hopefully a night of karaoke. I need to show him (and me) my fun side again.
Gonna Get Over You
Anyone else obsessed with Sara Bareilles' new album Kaleidoscope Heart
? I've been listening to it non-stop after my first encounter with SCL since the second break-up.
That's right. I saw SCL. On purpose.
My mom's birthday is coming up, and she always wants me to burn her CDs of my favorite music. I love it because it's inexpensive for me and I get to share what I'm listening to. Back in December SCL and I had purchased about 500 CD/DVD sleeves, and while I very well could have gone out and purchased my own, I thought, "Wait a sec, I bought those with him, so surely I can have a few." This morning I shot him a quick email about it, offering to pick them up whenever. About five minutes later he responded that he could drop them in the mailbox--or that he'd be there until 3 if I wanted to come over.
Shit, did he just invite me over? I think he did. I was already getting ready to go to the gym, so I figured I'd swing by there on the way. I debated putting on make-up, trying to cute-i-fy my old gym clothes, and then I thought, "Nope, going on with life as usual." I biked over and knocked on the door.
As soon as I saw him, my eyes filled with tears. I grabbed the CD sleeves and then turned around, ready to book it. "How are you?" he asked. "I'm really good, " I said, not all that convincingly. I managed to temporarily hold off on the waterworks. Then we started chatting. He told me about his classes, how he was finally going to the dentist thanks to livingsocial, and that he was *gasp* taking a motorcycle class. I guess not having the use of my car has him pretty desperate. But, it made me crack up. He's about the last person I could picture riding a motorcycle. His dad is planning a second knee replacement, his aunt and uncle (whom I love) celebrated their 30th anniversary, his mom is in the dark about the motorcycle class.
I told him about Dewey and my dating. I cried a lot, and he hugged me. The thing is, he is such a good guy, even if he's not the right guy for me. I told him how much he'd hurt me. I told him how much it sucked to have him block Facebook content from me--and he explained, "Well, I knew there'd be a lot of pictures of me from the wedding, and I didn't want them to show up in your newsfeed." (See post on said pictures.) And the "not wanting a future with me"? He said, "I know it sounded like I was rejecting you and I can't make you feel better about it, but it was me saying that I just wasn't sure what I want for my life yet." He said he didn't understand what had happened to him, but he had gotten to the point that he knew being in a serious, committed relationship with anyone is not something he's capable of right now.
He said he's been on a few dates--for practice, mostly. This made me laugh, mostly because I feel similarly. I think I'm more open to the possibility of a long-term relationship than he is. I asked about the obsession--he hasn't seen her and when they did talk once, he said she has basically lost her mind. I'm relieved to know he's not barking up that tree, not that it's any of my business.
We talked about our friends' wedding that he attended and I didn't--he let me know that he had, in fact, signed both of our names to the gift. Another good guy move. I told him how far behind I'd gotten in True Blood without his DVR--and I cried again. I felt so dumb, but it was one of those things that we shared. I admitted to him that looking back, I hadn't been happy in the relationship and that I knew in the long-run, I would've gotten tired of feeling insecure about it. And that I felt like I'd let myself become a boring person in the name of "becoming an adult."
I told him about the fuckburglar, our friends who are moving in together, getting kicked out of Dewey. We laughed. I said fuck a lot. I cried. I told him I hope he appreciates me one day, even if he can't now. He brushed my hair back and said, "I already do appreciate parts of you that I didn't before--how hard you worked and how you care about the world and the people in it." I told him when he's ready for his next relationship, I hope he can talk to her more. He saw his therapist in August. He might go back.
I needed to get out of there, not that I wanted to. He didn't invite me to his room to play the piano for me--though he told me he's still playing. He said if I ever needed help with something to call him, even though it's weird. He held me as I cried. I asked if he was glad I came over. "Yes, it's good to know that we can talk." I asked, "Do you think we'll ever be able to be friends?" He nodded. "Do you?" I said, "I don't know. I've never tried to be friends with someone who has seen me naked." He laughed.
"But, it makes me cry to see you." He wiped the tears from my cheeks and said, "Maybe one day it won't."
Maybe.
? I've been listening to it non-stop after my first encounter with SCL since the second break-up.That's right. I saw SCL. On purpose.
My mom's birthday is coming up, and she always wants me to burn her CDs of my favorite music. I love it because it's inexpensive for me and I get to share what I'm listening to. Back in December SCL and I had purchased about 500 CD/DVD sleeves, and while I very well could have gone out and purchased my own, I thought, "Wait a sec, I bought those with him, so surely I can have a few." This morning I shot him a quick email about it, offering to pick them up whenever. About five minutes later he responded that he could drop them in the mailbox--or that he'd be there until 3 if I wanted to come over.
Shit, did he just invite me over? I think he did. I was already getting ready to go to the gym, so I figured I'd swing by there on the way. I debated putting on make-up, trying to cute-i-fy my old gym clothes, and then I thought, "Nope, going on with life as usual." I biked over and knocked on the door.
As soon as I saw him, my eyes filled with tears. I grabbed the CD sleeves and then turned around, ready to book it. "How are you?" he asked. "I'm really good, " I said, not all that convincingly. I managed to temporarily hold off on the waterworks. Then we started chatting. He told me about his classes, how he was finally going to the dentist thanks to livingsocial, and that he was *gasp* taking a motorcycle class. I guess not having the use of my car has him pretty desperate. But, it made me crack up. He's about the last person I could picture riding a motorcycle. His dad is planning a second knee replacement, his aunt and uncle (whom I love) celebrated their 30th anniversary, his mom is in the dark about the motorcycle class.
I told him about Dewey and my dating. I cried a lot, and he hugged me. The thing is, he is such a good guy, even if he's not the right guy for me. I told him how much he'd hurt me. I told him how much it sucked to have him block Facebook content from me--and he explained, "Well, I knew there'd be a lot of pictures of me from the wedding, and I didn't want them to show up in your newsfeed." (See post on said pictures.) And the "not wanting a future with me"? He said, "I know it sounded like I was rejecting you and I can't make you feel better about it, but it was me saying that I just wasn't sure what I want for my life yet." He said he didn't understand what had happened to him, but he had gotten to the point that he knew being in a serious, committed relationship with anyone is not something he's capable of right now.
He said he's been on a few dates--for practice, mostly. This made me laugh, mostly because I feel similarly. I think I'm more open to the possibility of a long-term relationship than he is. I asked about the obsession--he hasn't seen her and when they did talk once, he said she has basically lost her mind. I'm relieved to know he's not barking up that tree, not that it's any of my business.
We talked about our friends' wedding that he attended and I didn't--he let me know that he had, in fact, signed both of our names to the gift. Another good guy move. I told him how far behind I'd gotten in True Blood without his DVR--and I cried again. I felt so dumb, but it was one of those things that we shared. I admitted to him that looking back, I hadn't been happy in the relationship and that I knew in the long-run, I would've gotten tired of feeling insecure about it. And that I felt like I'd let myself become a boring person in the name of "becoming an adult."
I told him about the fuckburglar, our friends who are moving in together, getting kicked out of Dewey. We laughed. I said fuck a lot. I cried. I told him I hope he appreciates me one day, even if he can't now. He brushed my hair back and said, "I already do appreciate parts of you that I didn't before--how hard you worked and how you care about the world and the people in it." I told him when he's ready for his next relationship, I hope he can talk to her more. He saw his therapist in August. He might go back.
I needed to get out of there, not that I wanted to. He didn't invite me to his room to play the piano for me--though he told me he's still playing. He said if I ever needed help with something to call him, even though it's weird. He held me as I cried. I asked if he was glad I came over. "Yes, it's good to know that we can talk." I asked, "Do you think we'll ever be able to be friends?" He nodded. "Do you?" I said, "I don't know. I've never tried to be friends with someone who has seen me naked." He laughed.
"But, it makes me cry to see you." He wiped the tears from my cheeks and said, "Maybe one day it won't."
Maybe.
Life (after SCL) Goes On
After Dr. Scientist (not to be confused with Dr. Nutrition) canceled our Saturday night date due to a cold, I found myself dateless for the weekend--and I was so relieved. It's given me a chance to do some much needed catching up with friends and catching up on sleep. I spent 9/11 doing a service project and resting. I feel rejuvenated and ready for another week of this dating stuff, not to mention, you know, the actual work I do. I'm in the middle of planning a three-week trip in October. (Anyone want to guest post? Shoot me an email)
Currently I have no dates to report on, but I wanted to answer a question that commenter extraordinaire Felisha asked on Thursday's post. She asks:
Third, I got the hell out of DC for a week. While I was gone, my mom told me with tough love that I needed to get myself out there again. At first that pissed me off, but she was right. I needed to pull myself out of the hole of misery (once I'd spent adequate time there) and start enjoying life again. I started working out hard, getting to know my roommates, writing articles for work, going out with friends, singing lots of karaoke, and drinking many beers. And, then I started telling my friends I wanted to be set up. I started responding to men online that I thought sounded fun and I started going out on dates. Fortunately I've been spared the online dating horror stories thus far. The worst I've gotten was Mr. Religion Teacher, who was not weird; just too serious.
The result of all of this is a complete shift in the way I think about my relationship with SCL and how I really felt. I went back and read every single journal (not blog) entry from the year we lived together, and I read how unhappy, unsettled, disappointed, undesirable, and unfulfilled I felt about 95% of the time because I never felt secure in the relationship. With good reason, it turns out. He was still obsessed with another girl and I found out that he'd also made out with a girl just a few weeks after we got back together this spring. A real charmer, that one.
So, do I think about SCL? Yes. There's part of me that misses him a little. I wonder how he's doing at school mostly. I hope that he's getting himself out there again and having some fun. I sometimes wish I could call him to ask if I can borrow our cheese grater (it's an amazing cheese grater.) But, I don't cry about it anymore. I don't wish that things had turned out differently. In fact, I almost feel grateful that he didn't give me the option of staying with him because I would never be having these experiences I'm having now. I feel thankful for the fun that we did have, but I realize it would never have worked long-term because I was not myself when I was with him. The relationship was comfortable, safe, secure, but not fulfilling. And it was stifling me. I had an idea that if we got engaged, I'd finally feel secure in the relationship. Now I see how fucked up that is.
I'm still healing, learning, and figuring out how to move forward. I have no idea if I'm doing it "right" but I know that I feel better each and every day.
Currently I have no dates to report on, but I wanted to answer a question that commenter extraordinaire Felisha asked on Thursday's post. She asks:
Do you even think of SCL anymore?It's been just over seven weeks since we parted for good, and I can honestly say that I have experienced a tremendous amount of healing so far. I think a number of factors have contributed to this. First, this wasn't the first time I'd been through this with him, and I was not in the same place that I was in April. Second, I let myself feel exactly what I felt whenever I felt it. One of the beautiful things about working from home is you can cry in the middle of the day and no one knows. For about three weeks, I cried and sobbed and wrote pitiful things in my journal, and I tried not to hate on myself for being so emotional.That was a wonderful gift, even though it sucked going through it. The truth is, there are only so many tears a person can cry, and I cried them all.
Third, I got the hell out of DC for a week. While I was gone, my mom told me with tough love that I needed to get myself out there again. At first that pissed me off, but she was right. I needed to pull myself out of the hole of misery (once I'd spent adequate time there) and start enjoying life again. I started working out hard, getting to know my roommates, writing articles for work, going out with friends, singing lots of karaoke, and drinking many beers. And, then I started telling my friends I wanted to be set up. I started responding to men online that I thought sounded fun and I started going out on dates. Fortunately I've been spared the online dating horror stories thus far. The worst I've gotten was Mr. Religion Teacher, who was not weird; just too serious.
The result of all of this is a complete shift in the way I think about my relationship with SCL and how I really felt. I went back and read every single journal (not blog) entry from the year we lived together, and I read how unhappy, unsettled, disappointed, undesirable, and unfulfilled I felt about 95% of the time because I never felt secure in the relationship. With good reason, it turns out. He was still obsessed with another girl and I found out that he'd also made out with a girl just a few weeks after we got back together this spring. A real charmer, that one.
So, do I think about SCL? Yes. There's part of me that misses him a little. I wonder how he's doing at school mostly. I hope that he's getting himself out there again and having some fun. I sometimes wish I could call him to ask if I can borrow our cheese grater (it's an amazing cheese grater.) But, I don't cry about it anymore. I don't wish that things had turned out differently. In fact, I almost feel grateful that he didn't give me the option of staying with him because I would never be having these experiences I'm having now. I feel thankful for the fun that we did have, but I realize it would never have worked long-term because I was not myself when I was with him. The relationship was comfortable, safe, secure, but not fulfilling. And it was stifling me. I had an idea that if we got engaged, I'd finally feel secure in the relationship. Now I see how fucked up that is.
I'm still healing, learning, and figuring out how to move forward. I have no idea if I'm doing it "right" but I know that I feel better each and every day.
Double Crush=Double Fun+Double Trouble
If you saw the second update on yesterday's post, my texting Mr. Navy ended up working quite nicely, even if I attributed it to momentary insanity. About two hours after I sent my last text (in which I not-so-subtly said it'd be fun to see each other again...and then immediately wished I hadn't sent it), he texted back, "Let's shoot for next week. How's Thursday?" *happy dance*
Just as soon as I'd begun celebrating my flirting victory, I realized that I had to get showered and ready for my third date with Dr. Nutrition. We had plans to have dinner at 6 in Foggy Bottom, giving us plenty of time to get over to the Kennedy Center to pick up our free tickets. Or so I thought. At about 5:45 I got a text from Dr. Nutrition that once again he's running late, but he promises to be there by 6:10. Knowing that he lives way out in Bethesda aka "Canada," I knew he was bullshitting me.
As per usual, I arrived exactly on time and began tweeting furiously about how he was late for the third time in a row. The combination of annoyance and wishing I'd rather be with Mr. Navy put me in a slight funk until 6:20 when Dr. Nutrition showed up looking gorgeous and absolutely apologetic. As it turns out, he'd gotten some bad news at work and needed some time to process it before heading out to our date. I totally can understand that--and honestly had it been me, I would have considered cancelling. Or been in a funk the whole time. He was neither. Props to him.
Because we were late to sit down and we have a habit of talking rather than perusing the menu, we ended up not getting our check until close to 7:45. Shit, we were going to be late to the Kennedy Center! Now, had we been smart, we would've jumped in a cab, but we figured it wasn't that far and we could book it. Such a bad idea. I got distracted in his story-telling about a friend of a friend who had been at Dewey and got arrested for breaking and entering someone's house--and having sex on their couch! Dr. Nutrition said, "She's not just a burglar. She's a fuckburglar!" Hilarious.
It was around that time that we realized we were walking down the wrong fucking street. By the time we backtracked, found the Kennedy Center, found the super secret place where our free tickets were, and made our way to the theater, it was 8:30. In the elevator up to the terrace level, he looked so sad and apologetic that I decided to make the move this time and gave him a kiss. (The kissing this time around was much better than last time.) I said, "No worries, everything is fine." He was a lot more relaxed after that.
As it turned out, we hadn't missed too much, and it ended up being a fun night despite the two rounds of tardiness. And, we are beginning to get more comfortable with each other. Despite my thinking I'm totally infatuated with Mr. Navy (which I am at least to a point), the truth is that I am really feeling Dr. Nutrition, too. I've never been in this position of liking two guys at the same time, and I'm wondering how long it can last. But, seeing as how it's not a problem right now, I won't think about it too much.
We have our fourth date planned for Tuesday. This time I'm heading to "Canada." Wish me luck.
Just as soon as I'd begun celebrating my flirting victory, I realized that I had to get showered and ready for my third date with Dr. Nutrition. We had plans to have dinner at 6 in Foggy Bottom, giving us plenty of time to get over to the Kennedy Center to pick up our free tickets. Or so I thought. At about 5:45 I got a text from Dr. Nutrition that once again he's running late, but he promises to be there by 6:10. Knowing that he lives way out in Bethesda aka "Canada," I knew he was bullshitting me.
As per usual, I arrived exactly on time and began tweeting furiously about how he was late for the third time in a row. The combination of annoyance and wishing I'd rather be with Mr. Navy put me in a slight funk until 6:20 when Dr. Nutrition showed up looking gorgeous and absolutely apologetic. As it turns out, he'd gotten some bad news at work and needed some time to process it before heading out to our date. I totally can understand that--and honestly had it been me, I would have considered cancelling. Or been in a funk the whole time. He was neither. Props to him.
Because we were late to sit down and we have a habit of talking rather than perusing the menu, we ended up not getting our check until close to 7:45. Shit, we were going to be late to the Kennedy Center! Now, had we been smart, we would've jumped in a cab, but we figured it wasn't that far and we could book it. Such a bad idea. I got distracted in his story-telling about a friend of a friend who had been at Dewey and got arrested for breaking and entering someone's house--and having sex on their couch! Dr. Nutrition said, "She's not just a burglar. She's a fuckburglar!" Hilarious.
It was around that time that we realized we were walking down the wrong fucking street. By the time we backtracked, found the Kennedy Center, found the super secret place where our free tickets were, and made our way to the theater, it was 8:30. In the elevator up to the terrace level, he looked so sad and apologetic that I decided to make the move this time and gave him a kiss. (The kissing this time around was much better than last time.) I said, "No worries, everything is fine." He was a lot more relaxed after that.
As it turned out, we hadn't missed too much, and it ended up being a fun night despite the two rounds of tardiness. And, we are beginning to get more comfortable with each other. Despite my thinking I'm totally infatuated with Mr. Navy (which I am at least to a point), the truth is that I am really feeling Dr. Nutrition, too. I've never been in this position of liking two guys at the same time, and I'm wondering how long it can last. But, seeing as how it's not a problem right now, I won't think about it too much.
We have our fourth date planned for Tuesday. This time I'm heading to "Canada." Wish me luck.
You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile.
Dudes, this dating stuff is tiring. I realize how ridiculous it is when I'm talking to my friends and they can never keep any of the guys' names straight. In fact, I may resort to using their blog nicknames in real life as well. It's much easier, especially since some of their names sound similar. Or at least they aren't distinct enough to stick in anyone else's brain (including mine.)
Dating is a steep learning curve. It only took a few first dates to get the hang of it, and now I feel like I've got it down. I'm a little too overly-confident before some of my dates, and at the last second I have to quickly scan the emails/online dating profiles we've exchanged so I can A) remember their first name B) get their cell numbers C) have something to talk about when we get there.
Mr. Religion Teacher and I had been talking for a few weeks, and we finally met up yesterday--at a MeetUp no less. We had a drink together beforehand, but I ended up being really thankful for the group setting of the MeetUp. First, let me say that Mr. Religion Teacher was HOT. Buff, beautiful face...except he NEVER smiled. NOT ONCE! Forget about laughing, he never cracked even a slight smile the entire time. I tried to keep it light-hearted, and he wasn't taking the bait.
Boo. Why are people so serious? It was really bad when we were walking back to the Metro and he commented on how the facilitator of the MeetUp group should have implemented a "quiet sign" to get the groups to shut up. Like, remember in Girl Scouts or first grade or something when the teacher would put up his/her hand and all of the students followed? Yes, Mr. Religion Teacher was suggesting this for grown-ups. What. A. Killjoy.
Needless to say, I was thankful my wait for the Yellow line was only two minutes. I was ready to high tail it out of there. He, however, seemed to think the date had gone well. So, who knows...maybe he'd lighten up on a second date? If he calls, I might go out with him again.
Update on Mr. Navy: I broke down and texted him this afternoon. In Italian. And we are currently flirting via text. All I want to say is, "ASK ME OUT ALREADY!" Too strong?
Second Update on Mr. Navy: He just asked me out, and I am doing the happy dance!
Dating is a steep learning curve. It only took a few first dates to get the hang of it, and now I feel like I've got it down. I'm a little too overly-confident before some of my dates, and at the last second I have to quickly scan the emails/online dating profiles we've exchanged so I can A) remember their first name B) get their cell numbers C) have something to talk about when we get there.
Mr. Religion Teacher and I had been talking for a few weeks, and we finally met up yesterday--at a MeetUp no less. We had a drink together beforehand, but I ended up being really thankful for the group setting of the MeetUp. First, let me say that Mr. Religion Teacher was HOT. Buff, beautiful face...except he NEVER smiled. NOT ONCE! Forget about laughing, he never cracked even a slight smile the entire time. I tried to keep it light-hearted, and he wasn't taking the bait.
Boo. Why are people so serious? It was really bad when we were walking back to the Metro and he commented on how the facilitator of the MeetUp group should have implemented a "quiet sign" to get the groups to shut up. Like, remember in Girl Scouts or first grade or something when the teacher would put up his/her hand and all of the students followed? Yes, Mr. Religion Teacher was suggesting this for grown-ups. What. A. Killjoy.
Needless to say, I was thankful my wait for the Yellow line was only two minutes. I was ready to high tail it out of there. He, however, seemed to think the date had gone well. So, who knows...maybe he'd lighten up on a second date? If he calls, I might go out with him again.
Update on Mr. Navy: I broke down and texted him this afternoon. In Italian. And we are currently flirting via text. All I want to say is, "ASK ME OUT ALREADY!" Too strong?
Second Update on Mr. Navy: He just asked me out, and I am doing the happy dance!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)